Long Distance Relationships: The Truth

Not to bore you with statistics, but between 25-40% of all romantic relationships among college students are long distance. In fact, with the rise in revolutions in modern technology, which present new ways of keeping in touch (think web-cams!), long distance relationships, including marriages, are on the rise.

The first and foremost means of maintaining a relationship where the people involved don’t live in the same vicinity (and often not even the same country) is effective communication. This is why it is extremely important for persons considering a long distance relationship to clearly communicate on all essential issues, much before hand, so as to side-step any conflict. Issues can range from simple problems like being home to receive your significant other’s call, to the more complex concerns which may involve immigration and children. Even though sustaining a long distance relationship is very demanding, if two people have made a commitment to foster love between themselves no matter what, nothing is quite impossible. What’s more is that if you share an insatiable, everlasting love for each other, it isn’t a long shot to believe that God might even intervene to play the biggest supporting role in your lives. Yes, all you cynics out there doubt this, but trust us, we’ve seen some of the most hopeless relationships breed flowers.

To get to the point, one of the biggest downsides to a long distance relationship is the lack of physical closeness, which makes it really very hard to keep the spark alive. Yet, the idea of being in a satisfying relationship is such a blessed one that often people often realize that distance does make the heart grow fonder; sometimes even helping direct a doomed relationship onto a path of success. Another problem that people in a long distance relationship have to deal with is that of jealousy. Since your loved one isn’t where you can keep an eye on him/her, it’s extremely easy to get jealous and suspicious of even the minutest happenings, especially for people who are insecure. And who isn’t? There’s always a hint of insecurity in each one of us, especially when it comes to the people we love so much that we are terrified of being hurt by them. The way around this issue is to realize that trust is an important commodity to give to your partner; if this conviction in each other is mutual, suspicious notions can easily be extinguished. That is why it’s important to be able to place your utmost trust in your partner, because if you’re not sure of that, you can’t ever be sure of anything else.

Yet another matter which couples in a long distance relationship have to deal with is that of loneliness. The obvious way of dealing with this is to physically meet as many times as possible, and to spend true quality time dedicated to each other when together. However, the rest of the time that individuals spend away from their better halves can often turn their loneliness into a case of depression, if they do not engage themselves in enough activities of interest. Thus, it is highly advisable for each distant lover to improve his or her social support system away from home (where the heart is!) Participating in leisure activities, performing social welfare duties, and indulging in artistic pursuits are recommended tools to break through the limits of lonesomeness. Lovers who cannot get together very often should also learn to be independent whilst nurturing healthy dependence upon one another. This leads to a balance of power in relationships, allowing individuals to remain autonomous while also growing as halves of the other.

Long distance relationships are also about adequately meeting the emotional needs of your partner. Even though there is a lot of room to breathe, and hardly any chance of your partner choking you out of your space (unless he/she can’t stop calling you!), there are times when you need to just be there, no matter what. Also, with so much time spent apart, partners must not expect their better halves to stay exactly the same as they left them, because circumstances and surroundings do tend to affect a person’s character.

Another thing that both partners in a long distance relationship need to understand is that it’s imperative to learn to function under understandable expectations. It is vital for a person to know what to expect of their significant other, and to do their best to meet what is expected of them. If this isn’t the case with your relationship, we suggest that you call for a warm discussion to clarify everything relational that has either been misunderstood or never been brought to the surface. Talking about it helps: We promise!

In all honesty, the secret to being happy in a long distance relationship is for the partners to ensure that emphasis is laid on their time spent together rather than the distance between them. In other words, it is best to get together, enjoy the little time one has with their distant lover in a happy frame of mind, rather than ruin the mood by remembering the times when you needed him/her and he/she was not around.

Yes, there is a great downside to long distance relationships, and everyone going through such a relationship is conscious of it. Even so, the pleasure of knowing that there is someone who cares no matter how far away they might be, tends to run over the list of pitfalls.