Golfing Grannies By Gary Mosher At Isnare.com Ezine Articles

For the experienced golfer, playing a new golf course for the first time is always an exciting occasion. My three buddies and I arrived full of anticipation at the prospects of the challenging round ahead, but our euphoria turned to dismay when we saw the foursome that would be playing ahead of us - four very elderly women complete with saggy support hose covering the top of what looks like orthopedic golf shoes and shawls in case the temperature drops below ninety degrees.

My friends and I immediately begin pacing like caged tigers and go into our ‘woe is us’ routine.

“I can’t believe they are going to let them play in front of us!”

“They must have bussed them here from the nearest nursing home.”

Proper etiquette is important, nowhere more so than on the golf course. Golf etiquette requires that a golfer replace his divots, fix ball marks on the green and let a faster group play through.

Finally, one of my buddies can take it no longer and he boldly struts over to the four seniors and asks if we can play ahead of them. Mind you, they haven’t hit a shot yet. Three of the woman look angry, but the fourth just smiles, points her cane in our direction and suggests that maybe we should go ahead and let them begin and see if they slow us down.

The four geriatric seniors then proceed to play like the proverbial ‘bat out of hell.’ By the time we’ve hit our first shot, the women have disappeared from sight. Racing greyhounds couldn’t have kept up with those sprinting spinsters.

We spend the afternoon slicing from sand trap to water hazard to poison ivy patch. After a few holes there is a hole and a half gap between us and the octogenarians. We begin running from shot to shot and calling eight foot putts good and we still can’t gain on them.

By the time we drag ourselves in after finishing the round, the gap is so large between us and the nursing home patrons that they’ve had time to eat a three-course meal in the clubhouse lounge.

“How’d we do, sonny?” the woman with the cane calls out as she uses a napkin to daintily dab from her lips the last few crumbs of her dessert.

A Buddhist proverb on respecting your elders states, “If you want to know what lies on the road ahead, ask someone who’s already been there.” Maybe there is something we can learn from our senior citizens - like patience, proper etiquette and a better golf swing.

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