Teaching Prosperity Or Raising Shopaholics?

The moment of awakening came after I had been away on a business trip for four days. My daughter had been staying with her nanny who she knows very well. Still, she made her sentiments about my absence known when I returned. "Four days was a long time, Mama", she told me.

I told her I knew four days was a long time, but that she had been very brave and I was proud of her. Silence.

"Mama, you know that four days was really hard and it would make me feel a lot better if we could go to Toy-R-Us so I can pick out a toy for me being so brave". Now some parents might chuckle at the precociousness of a typical six year old, and I did for a moment, but then it hit me; at some level she believes STUFF will provide her with emotional nurturing!

"I’m giving out free hugs, some cuddling and a bike ride?" I said. "That would be great”, she responded, “Can we ride our bikes to ToysRUs?

So began my journey, as one flawed parent seeking abundance and balance in my own life; to also teach my child the Universal Laws that create true prosperity, and at the same time to balance those teachings with skills to live in a society dependent upon consumerism.

In a recent press release, the Nation Retail Federation estimates holiday sales will rise 5.0 percent this year to $457.4 billion. As expected, electronics and toys seem to be the big winners of the day, with retailers offering big bargains on high definition televisions, life-sized robots, mp3 players and game systems.

I don’t know about you, but I find it hard to put my brain around those numbers; Four hundred fifty seven point four billion. If we were to pile all that merchandize in one place would it cover Main Street in my town? Would it cover the whole town? How many toys is that exactly? I asked myself is this abundance or rank consumerism? Are abundance and consumerism mutually exclusive?

As a student and teacher of the Universal Laws and more so as a parent; I’ve grappled with these questions. How do we teach our children that the Universe is plentiful and wants all of us to live a life without limits… on one hand, and yet foster self-determination and inner joy that can not ever be supplied by buying stuff and strapping ourselves with credit card debt… on the other hand?

Grade school children today are exposed to more advertising than any other generation in history. Advertisers can now impress upon their subconscious minds a “need” in most every area of their life. As a child I don’t remember television commercials enticing me to purchase a certain toothbrush do you? I have a theory that marketers are grooming future generations of consumers and they know it. This is to insure our economic future; at least the future of an economy based on consumerism.

So in a Universe of Abundance, what is the harm in purchasing stuff if it gives our children satisfaction and joy? There is reason for concern in two areas: first consumerism is satisfaction from an external source which is fleeting and constantly hungry; second it creates a pattern of money mismanagement that leads to an adult life of indebtedness and lack of true freedom. Credit card debt is the modern form of servitude.

Here are a few tips to foster Abundance Thinking without encouraging consumerism:

• Turn off the television. It’s that simple. Have regular media fasts where television and video games are tuned off and put away. You’ll be surprised at how invasive television advertising appears after you’ve been away from it for just a day or two.

• Make sure communing with nature is a big part of your family routine. Take walks or bike rides, ski, run. Have a family pet if possible. Constant contact with nature has a “grounding effect” that makes frivolous possessions less attractive.

• When making a substantial purchase, savor it, even if just for a moment and to say thank you. Appreciate its origin and the labor it took to create it. Teach your children to be in a state of gratitude about their material possessions by talking about how they were made.

• Purchase items for your children as the result of a plan, not as the result of an impulse. Give you children the opportunity to consciously choose their toys and discuss the benefits and possible drawbacks of each item before they are purchased.

• When traveling, give each child a specific amount of money to spend on the trip and give them the freedom to purchase anything of their choosing so long as its age appropriate and safe. I did this with my daughter on our second day at Disneyland. The first day I was bombarded by requests, so much so that it nearly ruined the day. The second day I gave her $20 and told her she could spend it as she wished, but there would be no more money that day. She considered many items, but purchased nothing. The third day, she asked for her next $20 and purchased one very nice Minnie doll for about $35 and kept the balance.

• Have family dinners regularly and make plans for the future. Be sure to discuss what financial resources will be necessary to complete the plan and give each family member a role to play they are capable of fulfilling.

Creating a pattern of true prosperity doesn’t require turning our backs on materialism, but it does mean developing a certain mindset. As Wallace D. Wattles wrote in his classic book, The Science of Getting Rich, being rich requires thinking in a “Certain Way”. In other words, true prosperity begins and ends in the mind.

Constance Kitatake

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