More Health And Beauty Tips From A Beverly Hills Beauty Expert

“Honey, trust me on this...”

QUESTION: I just came off a spring wardrobe shopping binge, but all my new summer pastels look so bland against my leftover winter white skin. It’s too early in the year to be really tan, so what’s a girl to do until summer?

ANSWER: You’re so right! Lime green tank top on pasty arms? Khaki mini skirt over milky legs? Does this visual make you nauseous? You can’t enjoy your new financial investment like this, and it’s soooo very poseur to show up at work Monday morning with a million dollar St. Tropez (spray) tan. Thanks to the chemical gods, there are several new lotion products that gradually, day by day, build your color to a healthy sun blessed tan. Now, don’t even think about the old “self-tanning” orangey brown stuff we all had one bad experience with and then NEVER again. These are body lotions (you gotta moisturize anyway!) that contain just enough tint to last through tomorrow’s shower and deepen with another application until tomorrow’s shower, etc. But before I name names, kick off the daily lotion commitment with a mini spa treatment, right at home, to increase product’s effectiveness and really get into the tanning spirit. Before the first lotion application, fill your tub with water and add a whole gallon of whole milk! Whoa, I’m not going Cleopatra on you…milk’s lactic acid is the best, mildest exfoliant in the world, and the protein and fat does wonders for dry skin While you’re soaking, go ahead and shave your legs (if you’re still a Neanderthal like I and don’t wax). Then use a Buf-Puf, or some such abrasive tool, and polish ever other inch of skin you can reach. After you towel dry, apply rich amounts of either Neutrogena Build-a-Tan lotion or Clarins Liquid Bronze Self Tanning Milk (between you and me, Neutrogena’s cheaper and smells better, but you do whatever you want). The next day or night, just shower or bathe as usual and apply the lotion; don’t do the milk bath. If you’re dressing to go out, really gild the lily and deepen your tan-in- process with a bronze body powder HEAD TO TOE (some are blinged with a little shine). Make-up artists and runway models horde Scott Barnes Body Bling Lotion and Michael Kors Leg Shine bronzing powders because they know these products make cellulite fade from view. Not that OUR readers care.

QUESTION: I’ve always taken good care of my complexion, so I can’t believe that at 28 I’m already getting crow’s feet! What is up with that?

ANSWER: In real estate, it’s all about location, location, location. With wrinkles, it’s moisture, moisture, moisture. When I was cruising the cosmetic counters at Barney’s recently, I couldn’t believe my eyes (no pun intended). All the cosmetic companies are STILL convincing women that if they will only apply this one super-duper, amazing (as in “amazingly” expensive) under eye cream only ONCE or TWICE a day, adios crow’s feet. Buy any moisturizer you want, but you better keep it near you in your purse, at the office, in the kitchen, at arm’s reach, because every few hours, reapply it under your eyes (NO, not into the eyeliner, please). Be religious with it, and within a couple of days, you’ll be giving thanks you did. That area is drier than the Santa Ana’s, and unless you’re either in a coma or over-botox’d, you can’t help squinting, laughing, or frowning. Come on, it takes less time to slap on a sip of moisture under your eyes than it does to line and gloss your lips – and look how often we do that!

QUESTION:All I hear is drink plenty of water, but how much, really, and when does anyone have the time for all that water?

ANSWER:First of all, you’re talking to a woman who knows the location of every employee bathroom in every business establishment in west L.A. - and I’m talking places where they speak languages from dead civilizations. Don’t EVER, NEVER EVER, leave the house without a large bottle of water - fill up an empty one if you have to - drink it all day long. No, this isn’t a new idea in a society where a bottle of Evian on a person is considered as essential as designer sunglasses. Here’s the catch: it’s not the “how much?”, it’s the “when?”. You absolutely must consume your water between meals (30 minutes before and one hour after). Drinking more than a half glass of any liquid (wellll, maybe except martinis) with meals dilutes the stomach’s digestive enzymes. That healthy spinach and sprout salad at lunch leaves from your stomach nothing but a liquid mess, and you wonder later where the gas and bloating came from along with hunger pains! Sip at mealtime and guzzle in between, and I’ll see you in the loo.

QUESTION:I’ve finally stopped smoking and everything else that’s considered bad for you, but I can’t kick my chocolate craving. Does it really cause acne and other curses?

ANSWER:I am so happy to report on something that most people (especially women) keep under “wrappers,” because you are now released from chocolate guilt bondage. Believe it or not, university scientists spend thousands of hours and even more dollars testing the effects of naturally yummy things like chocolate on humans. According to the “Journal of the American Medical Association,” the results are that DARK chocolate lowers high blood pressure and contains potent amounts of anti-oxidants. Remember, they’re the good guys that destroy free radicals that cause heart disease, age spots, wrinkles, and everything we hire doctors to get rid of. There’s one caveat to this chocolate deal: You must eat ONLY DARK chocolate, not milk or white chocolate. In fact, to get all the benefits from chocolate (I know, it sounds like an oxymoron), you can’t even wash it down with milk. Don’t you dare fret about getting fat over a few truffles, either, because dark chocolate has less sugar and calories than the lighter versions. And, no, it doesn’t cause acne like your mom told you. If you still need convincing to run to Godiva, it’s always been a pure fact that chocolate stimulates brain neurotransmitters responsible for that warm, fuzzy, “I’m madly in love” feeling. Think of it: did you ever know a girl with a broken heart who didn’t go on a chocoholic binge? It’s just nature’s way of replacing one warm glow with another.