First Impressions

Speed dating events are the newest rage in town. After all, meeting some twenty odd people in the span of one evening has to throw up some good prospects. Dates stretch from a miniscule three minutes to a loooong ten minutes and at the end of it every single out there has ticked off his or her choices. After the event, if two people have ticked against each other a ‘match’ is declared and the two people are provided each other’s contact information. Some daters can land up to seven matches in one evening while there are those who have to walk away without a match. So why is there such a big gap in the numbers? And what can you do to maximize your chances of a match at a speed dating evening?

Michelle and Lori, who oversee a speed dating event every three days, came up with six very simple tricks to make an impact in three minutes.

Trick One : Treat it like a job interview

When you go in to get that dream job, you dress to make an impression, work on your resume and try to present yourself in the best light possible. Think of the whole speed dating evening as a series of a mini – interviews, for the post of your date, partner, soul mate. Dress to make an impression, ask questions and above all stay lively and upbeat.

Trick Two : Create a Resume

No, you don’t need to sit down at the mini date and wave a copy of your resume into the face of every guy/gal you get to speed date. This is one resume you make for your self. List down on this resume your current ‘life – stage’. A life stage mentions in one sentence, where you are in life right now for e.g. ‘a thirty something single with a successful career, looking for companionship’, or a ‘single parent looking for support’ Then put down two paragraphs, one about yourself and one about the kind of person you are looking for. When writing down what you are looking for in your date be specific. Someone ‘romantic’ can be someone who takes you out for a candle light dinner or someone who gives you a high by dancing with you all night. Be specific about your kind of ‘romantic’. Also list down things which are ‘deal – breakers’. If you can’t stand cigarette smoke, a smoker is a no – no and if you are allergic to cats, a person with pets is out of the fray. Once you are done, get a good friend to read through these to give you a reality check. You will now be much better prepared to pick the right people in three minutes.

Trick Three : Dress to impress

You would dress conservatively when going for a job interview. The same applies here. Don’t wear itsy- bitsy dresses or show up looking like you are ready to go camping. Make sure your dress is comfortable. There is nothing more distracting than a date fiddling with their dress through out the allotted ten minutes. Make sure your hair is well groomed, wear good shoes and use cologne or after- shave.

Trick Four : Be prepared

Before going for an interview, you read up about the company and prepare questions you would like answered about the position. In pretty much the same way, come up with a list of questions you would like your date to answer in the ten minutes you have. Throw run of the mill questions like’ What do you do?’ and ‘Where do you live?’, out of the window. Ask interesting, open ended questions, which tell you more about the person like’ What kind of people do you like hanging out with?,’ and ‘What would your best friend say about you?’

Trick Five : Don’t Whine

You would not inundate the interviewer at the job interview with whines about past bosses and bitchy co workers. Stick to the same rule here. Do not mention your ‘ex’, the guy who stalked you ( or the one you stalked )! Also avoid territory that leads to talk about a dysfunctional family or myriad diseases plaguing anyone around you. Ten minutes can be a very long time if one has to listen to someone go on about the digestive disorder their senile aunt suffered from a few months back.

Trick Six : Avoid the Negatives

At a job interview the you skirt all your negatives and accentuate all positives. At a speed date too, accentuate your positives. Do not inundate the guy/girl you are talking too, with a list of everything that’s wrong with you. It’s not a confessional and you don’t have to get all your sins off your chest right now. But that does not mean that you feel free to lie to come up looking good. Be honest yourself – only then would you be able to expect honesty from others.

Now go out there into the big bad world of speed dating with the confidence that you are going to land this job!