Second Dates

In an ideal world, you’d walk out of every first date with a clear ‘yes’ or ‘no’ etched in your mind for a second date with the person in question. Unfortunately, in reality you often come out confused, not knowing if the guy/gal is really worthy of a second date. As a result you often say no in haste and repent not taking the chance later. At times the opposite happens and you may really regret giving someone a second chance. We came up with some questions you could ask yourself clear the confusion and help you make the right decision.

How did you react when you first saw your date?

If the first thought that crossed your mind was that you have dated better, do not let that stop you from going on a second date. Your date may have intellectual qualities or a sense of humor which may more than make up for the lack of physical attributes. Do put up points in their favor if you felt that they took time and made an effort to look good. However, if their grunge look made you wonder if they even knew they’d come for a date, don’t think twice before saying no.

How much eye contact did you make?

Eye contact fosters trust and understanding and hence is a pointer to the quality of future interaction you may have with someone. Making a fair amount of eye contact, indicates positive interaction, and should be taken as green light for a second date. If your date was looking around quite a bit and you don’t even remember the color of their eyes, give it up before you regret wasting more time.

How did the conversation flow?

It will be a rare first date where you have a lot to say to each other and conversation flows from start to finish. Even if conversation was bumpy, at times flowing and at times sprinkled with awkward pauses, it’s worth a second chance. On the contrary if you found yourself wondering ‘Did he/she really say that?’ several times during the date, it may not make sense to pursue things further.

Did your date mention any past relationships?

If your date mentioned a previous relationship in passing it’s nothing to worry about but if they went into longwinded details about a former bloke/ babe, think twice before going out with them. They may be rather hung over on the previous relationship and hence may not be ready to move on.

What did your date want to know about you?

Did they ask you things like what you like to do for fun, what kind of places you hang out at? If they did they are a potential hit. On the other hand if they hardly asked anything about you it may be better to refuse to take things ahead. If they asked you rather too much about your daily schedule including seemingly irrelevant details like where you park when you go to work etc. treat it as a safety red flag and retreat as fast as you can.

How would you sum up what you know about your date?

At the end of the date do you know rather too much or too little about your date? If you know what kind of car they drive, what they enjoy most in life and the movie they enjoyed best you are on the right track. If you don’t’ know what work they do and feel that your date was rather cagey with details about themselves don’t go forward with the next date.

How did you feel at the end?

If you felt a frizzle of excitement, you should not be reading this article. If you felt rather happy but not on top of the world, there exists some potential. If you felt confused and wondered about their intentions don’t feel any inhibitions in not going out with them a second time round.

Would you want to be friends?

This is the one question that you should base your decision on. If you can think of the person you dated as becoming your friend you should go ahead, else you should walk away. If you can’t see them as being your friends, believe me you won’t reach the lover stage!