Debunking The Russian Bride Fairy Tale

The concept of mail order brides has been around far longer than has the Internet, but the Net has become the preferred venue for finding a foreign mate. Although most Russian bride websites downplay the 'mail order' aspect of their service, the only difference between these websites and the mail order bride catalog of the 1970's is that former was distributed in hard copy and the latter arrives via cyberspace.

There is no denying that love has been known to spark in strange circumstances, but one has to wonder if its' love, or some other motive that causes men and women to enter into a 'mail order bride' relationship. Go to any Russian brides website (and there are hundreds of them, some legitimate, some not), and you will notice several commonalities. Each site states that, "Russian women are extremely open-minded, and tolerant of most anything", and every woman pictured on each website could easily be a beauty contest winner. These certainly are attractive selling points.

Oops, we aren't supposed to talk about selling! It is stressed that Russian woman are not selling themselves through these services, but are merely looking to find the man of their dreams so they can please him in every way possible. These Russian beauties don't mind living on a tight budget, will work if hubby wants, or will happily stay home and care for home and family, free of selfish career goals.

These women all appear to be highly educated, yet they are not opposed to marrying a man much older and less attractive than they themselves. Russian women are represented as being accustomed to male domination and sexism, so they will not be bothered by those attitudes from their foreign husbands. They are touted to be extremely tolerant with an emotional temperature well below that of their western counterparts. Long-suffering and patient, Russian woman never lose their cool, even if their spouse has many mistresses!

So why do these miraculous, low maintenance creatures need a foreign husband? Unfortunately the women out-number the men in Russia (100 women for every 88 men), and single women are treated with only minimal respect in the Russian culture. If you are not married by age 25, it is unlikely that you will ever marry. Rather than to be doomed to a life of disrespect and despair it is preferable to fly off with a stranger in hopes of finding marital bliss abroad.

Do we really have to ask why Western men might like to marry a woman who has limited English skills and comes advertised as a Barbie Doll who cooks and cleans? Ah, if only it were real!

The fact is, often times it isn't real. The 'free' listing on a Russian bride website may come with a myriad of hidden costs that present themselves later down the road. Some Russian brides are rumored to be fronts for the Russian Mafia. Other Russian bride websites have no brides at all. Men think they are corresponding with the lovely Anna in St. Petersburg, when indeed they are sending handsome pictures of themselves to Ralph in Cleveland and being scammed out of airfare.

Russian women are advertised as 'trim' when a more accurate descriptor might be 'starved'. Health problems linked with poor nutrition and generational alcoholism is never mentioned. Abuse, abandonment, and poverty apparently have no detrimental impact on these women, and they always arrive in the USA unimpaired mentally and physically despite any deprivation or torment they may have suffered as children and young adults. Pretty unbelievable, huh?

Yes, the entire concept upon which 'Russian brides' is built is unbelievable. Talk with any Russian male and ask why Russian women want to come to the US and marry American men. Most will agree that it is because Russian women want to live like American women, not because they are just dying to hook up with an overweight middle-aged American man. This means that once settled in America, beautiful Swetlana may decide she wants to pursue a career, delay child rearing, and take long vacations in the sun.

Darn, there is just no truth in advertising anymore.