Responsibility And The Add Child

If you're one of those parents who think that ADD makes your child incapable, then get over it! You had better start believing that your ADD kid can do most things that any other kid can do. You just need to approach things in a different way, but if you don't, what will happen is that your child will grow up allowing everyone to do everything for him or her. That's not too bad, if you're a multimillionaire, but what if you're not?

Teach your child that ADD doesn't give them a free pass on life. You'll need to work harder than most parents to help them with what they need to learn about getting through basics in life. Otherwise, they'll be living in squalor or you'll be the cleaning person until the day you die.

ADD or ADHD isn't an illness, so stop looking at it that way. Unless you have ADD yourself, which is quite possible owing to its tendency to run in families, just understand that your kid's brain functions differently, but it doesn't have to stop you from being successful and getting everything you want in life. In fact, your ADD child is in some pretty powerful company, including Mozart, Thomas Edison, and Robert Kennedy. His brother John had it, too.

But here's the thing... If you want your children to be successful in life, they needs to learn responsibility, ADD or not. You have to help them to learn it. One great and time-tested way is to give them small chores to do, as they're growing up. Maybe start with setting the table when they're five or six, and give them a small allowance. Not only will this teach them responsibility, it will also teach them the value of money. As they grow, you can increase the difficulty level of the job you give them, and their allowances.

But wait! Don't just hand them the dishes and utensils. Show them how many plates to take from the cupboard, how many glasses to get, and so on. Then, you may want to fold the napkins for them, if they're very young because they may not have the manual dexterity. Then, take them to the table and show them the proper way a setting is done. Then, ask them to repeat the process.

You may have to teach them again and again, until they get it right, but when they do be sure to praise them liberally. You may have to do this for several days in a row, until they can do it on their own, but the key is to stick with them, until they can do it right.

If you establish a system of training, retraining, and praising for good work, your child should start to feel responsible for a small part of family living. If he or she doesn't set the table, nobody can eat. If you expect them to do it and do it right, they will. Add more complex tasks with every birthday, too. You may want to exchange some task for another as your younger children will need the same training, too. Or, if you give them something like doing the laundry, you may want to go back to being the table setter yourself. Whatever. Just don't load too much on them. Give them more allowance with each task you give them, too. Make them feel appreciated.

Sometimes, you may feel guilty about giving your kids work that you feel you could do yourself. Don't! If you don't give your kids some responsibility at home and make them understand what it means, they will never learn and their adult lives will be harder. Establish a system of creating responsibility in them now, and you'll see them grow and prosper.