What Is This Thing Called Me?

"Each of us is something of a schizophrenic personality, tragically divided against ourselves." Martin Luther King, Jr.

Who is the Real You, your authentic self? In the Human Experience, from the time you are born until you are roughly seven you are your perfect, authentic self. Then you take on layers of personality. That personality is made up of beliefs, decisions, unresolved and unexpressed emotions, real or imagined perceptions of the world, defense mechanisms and all the influences from around you. Thus, what you are doing on a transformational journey is uncovering and sorting out all that is not your authentic self.

Theoretically, you will never be able to completely uncover the Real You except in longer and longer fleeting glimpses. However, you will become adept at sensing the road blocks between your core authentic self and your life.

Envision a golden shining inner core that is continually accessible to you for guidance – this is your intuition – this is the Real You.

Further, imagine that you use frosted or opaque glasses through which you perceive and act in your life.

If you choose a personal growth or spiritual growth path, it will help you clear your vision - the glasses you are seeing through will become more and more translucent.

My husband says transformation is like learning golf or tennis. Learning anything requires focus, commitment and practice, whether it be learning to play a sport, an instrument or the game of life. I can teach you the rudiments of transformation however unless you apply the principles with focus, commitment and practice you will always only be a dabbler. The choice is yours.

A Part of Me "Observe all men, thyself most." Benjamin Franklin

"All these little living beings create inner conflict because they are alive and they each have a voice." Don Miguel Ruiz

Self-observation is the act of literally examining the world inside of you, by focusing on your inner thoughts and emotions as opposed to examining the world outside of you. If you give much greater importance to your outer reality – how you look and how it looks out there, it will be very tough to make inner changes because you will worry about how you appear to the rest of the world. Without training yourself to focus inward – by becoming aware of your different moods, and those different inner “selves” both negative and positive - that seem to take over sometimes – no real change will be possible.

I often speak about a “part of me”. For example, “a part of me wanted to buy that Almond Roca candy at the 99¢ store this morning.” I’ve often been told by friends that there are no “parts to you – you are a fully integrated person”. My Real Self is a fully integrated person, however, I have parts or different selves.

You have parts and different selves, too. Built into a transformational journey is the necessity to learn to identify and separate from those parts so that they lose power over you in order that they lose power over running your life. Recognizing those selves helps in the journey towards integration, leading you closer and closer to the Real You. Once you bring awareness to them, they will be in charge of your life less frequently.

One of the most persistent "selves" throughout my life has been the one that thinks something is wrong with how I look. She used to be in charge a good deal of the time. She made me hate myself. She made it impossible to see what I really looked like. She had become the root of my food addiction. Now, even though her voice is still a memory, she is almost never present. Most of the time I like how I look, regardless of my weight, hairstyle or attire. When she does come around, I recognize her quickly and she loses her power because my Real Self is so much clearer and so much more available. I do not need her any more. Having done the healing I have done, I do not need to find ways to hate myself any longer.

I thank those parts that have protected me and that I no longer need. Each part of us is important when it forms but when it is no longer needed, we have the opportunity to let it go.