Building Rapport With NLP

How to develop rapport with someone using NLP techniques

Ever met someone with whom you hit it off with straight away? Someone who seemed to have exactly the same views as you and mirrored the excitement that you felt at having met someone so similar? If so then you know what real rapport feels like.

Imagine being able to touch people on a level that they have never been touched before. Imagine being able to walk into a room and have the people in there instantly like you.

Using NLP you can deliberately create the feeling of rapport with anyone you want.

First of all let’s look at how rapport is created in the first place.

Rapport is essentially an act of communication and communication is more than just verbal. Communication means body language, tonality and facial expressions. Ever had someone tell you what a great idea that was and you not believe them? The chances are that some part of their communication voice, body language or facial expression did not back up this statement which set of your internal alarm bells.

So what you need to do is convince the person you want to create rapport with that the two of you are very similar. Most NLP practitioner courses will teach you to mirror that persons body language but quite frankly unless you are very practised this lack subtlety and can actually annoy the person you are doing it to thus creating the exact opposite result that you wanted.

In fact you need to also mirror such things as breathing rate and speaking patterns if you want to develop a deep level rapport. Studies have shown that people who are in love tend to breathe and speak at the same speed thus helping to create that feeling of having met someone special who understands you on a level that few have before.

There are of course even more advanced techniques which, if used wrongly can assist in the development of stalkers but you will not find these techniques written down or talked about and few people will teach you them. There are also techniques for destroying rapport and getting rid of people but yet again these are considered by many in the community to be ‘dark’ and are therefore rarely talked about or taught. The fact is that few people can teach these techniques effectively as an extremely deep level of understanding about NLP is needed.

Individuals who are practised in these techniques have a definite advantage over other people. Picking the right NLP practitioner course with the right trainers will ensure you get to understand these advanced techniques. You will find some of these ideas on pages on my website.

An Exercise in Building Rapport with NLP

Let’s do a basic exercise – find a person that you want to create rapport with. Now as you are talking with them start to notice their breathing rate and speech patters. These two will tend to reflect each other. For example does the person speak fast? If so then chances are their breathing rate will be quite fast as well. Start to subtlety match these (without being too blatant or out of character). Also start to notice such things as emotional intensity and start to match that. Over the next few days start doing these things with people and see what it does for you. As you start to become effective you will begin to notice a difference in the way people respond to you and you to them.

By now you probably realise that these techniques would be extremely useful to someone who works in sales, management, politics in fact just about any area of life you can imagine. Consider going in to see your boss to ask for a pay rise! What do you think creating a deep level of rapport beforehand would do for your chances? Or how about going into an interview room and creating such a level of rapport with the person interviewing you that simply cannot not give you the job?

By studying rapport building techniques and practising them daily all of the above and more would be within your grasp. Imagine, for example, if that person you fancied felt as though they were connecting with you on a level that they have never felt before. Do you think that this would increase your chances of persuading that person to go out with you?