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Gossiping And Toxic Women

 
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Melina Dean

Why do some women seem to almost gleefully tear down other females when they are not around? I have personally witnessed this phenomenon many times & I have become aware that it happens with so many women! I have noticed too, that they appear to be very nice to another woman's face (even sweet) but, the moment the other women leaves, the criticism, put-downs & gossiping begins. I think they call that two-faced. I have become quite concerned about this!

It is like these women find it necessary to be constantly bringing that other woman down a peg or two. This also usually means that they will hate it when they see their target succeed! Could jealousy be the root cause here? Or is it simply maliciousness? What really is it that drives females to do this? Sometimes they will go precariously further & start baseless and vicious rumors.

Their victim will be singled out to be persecuted. Predictably, that person's reputation must also become tainted in some way. Better yet - ruined! So the lies & rumors begin. It is important to know, that even if that often innocent person, who is constantly being run down to anyone who will listen, may never be even aware of what has been said, the perpetrator is totally unaware, that it is SHE who will suffer the most - from all that negative karma!

Some unfortunate women (who are usually a little lacking in the way of spiritual things), are never quite aware that what they do is not only downright toxic & spiteful but, at the total expense of a fellow sister. EVERY negative thing that a woman will ever say about another, every negative action that she takes, will travel out into the universe, & then, without fail - ricochet directly back to HER. This especially applies to those venomous women who are disposed to seek revenge over a slight - real or imagined. Their actions come back threefold!

We are each faced with choices. One of these being the particular code of conduct that we will choose to live by. We are given the choice to decide what kind of person it is that we want to be. Every one of our thoughts, words & deeds are chosen by us & create our environment. This would mean that hurting another person behind their back is not only your personal choice - but, a choice that will ultimately have a negative consequence.

Beware of any thing - positive or negative - that you are 'sending out.' Be rest assured, it will be coming straight back to you in some shape or form! Negative energy & vibes are always going out into the quantum field (even those mean thoughts that are running around in your mind.) These are creating more of the same & that created energy will sooner or later come heading DIRECTLY BACK TO YOU.

Why do women decide it is okay to HATE a woman simply because she is attractive or worse - beautiful?! They couldn't care less for the fact that they may be looking at a woman who is in reality, kind & good hearted. This kind of situation reminds me of the movie 'Malena'. Malena, the heroine, was an extraordinarily pretty war widow. In fact, she was DROP DEAD GORGEOUS. It was probably inevitable that every woman in Sicily would start gossiping about her. Their envy caused them to become MALICIOUS towards her, to the actual point of physical attack. It was plain to see that they wished to even DESTROY her
completely.

Have you noticed that when a woman you know notices an obviously attractive female, whether in real life or on TV – that she must find something about her looks to criticize? This criticism doesn't just apply to the pretty girls. There will be the down to earth & plain girl, who can become a target. Women will proceed to nastily scrutinize her too, passing judgments on her hair, face, figure & clothes! This behavior usually begins in real earnest at high school age & often extends WELL BEYOND. Why aren't we UNITING together as women & choosing to support each other? Why aren't we helping to build each other up instead of tearing each other down?

I believe that gossiping is one of the worst types of betrayal between women. There are valid reasons why certain individuals are driven to keep carrying on like this. The prime motivators are jealousy, rivalry, fear & low self-esteem. There is also usually something about their chosen target that makes them feel threatened & invokes insecurity. They often sense that their target has something that is lacking in them. This is the main reason that they feel compelled to bring her down as well as exclude & isolate her.

I also believe that some women see gossiping as this kind of perverse 'bonding' thing. This is almost laughable as nothing could be further from the truth! Don't they realize that the reality is, if someone is gossiping to you about another behind her back, then the gossiper is - as inevitable as the sun will rise tomorrow - gossiping about YOU behind your back? It may also be important to realize that these gossiping types have a tendency to become the most judgmental & bitterest of women.

DON'T buy into it! Rise against this extremely destructive behavior & refuse to be part of it. It may feel hard at first to remain neutral. But, the next time a 'friend' or acquaintance starts gossiping, why don't you ignore it & even dare to promptly change the subject?! This person will perhaps get the hint & maybe even feel a little remorse about themselves later. Or maybe not!

Don't be surprised if this new action on your part may cause the gossiper to start targeting on YOU. You will be able to laugh in the face of it all though, when you know the REAL reasons that they do it! If you look at a clique of women - there will always be jealousy & competition. Gossiping is devaluing to women as a whole.

I have end by saying - if you don't have anything nice to say about someone, then why not choose to say nothing at all? Why waste your valuable & precious time gossiping - or even listening to gossip - with these nasty & catty women? (And they say women are supposed to be born caring, sensitive & nurturing - as well as keep life full of love?)

Where has that SISTERHOOD thing gone?

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Melina Dean is a dating expert, love coach and femininity consultant. She has written several books on these very subjects. Visit her blog for dating advice, love and self-development tips, the feminine arts and beauty tips; http://theartofbeingfeminine.blogspot.com/
Article Tags: back [See Dictionary], gossiping [See Dictionary], women [See Dictionary]
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Article published on March 19, 2009 at Isnare.com
 
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