Why Divorce Happens And Its Impact

There are many reasons why people marry. They may say their vows for financial gain, emotional or physical fulfillment, improving their status and wealth in the society, or for having children and providing them a safe home to grow up in.

Unlike earlier times in history, marriage nowadays is no longer considered a lifelong bond. If people find that their life partner is not compatible with their own personalities, quite a few of them simply file for divorce. Due to social acceptance of this phenomenon and other factors like emancipation of women, there is a surge in the number of divorce cases in Western societies. Divorce means the legal and final end of a marriage when both the spouses are still alive. After divorce and separation, both of them can go on to remarry and start a new chapter in their lives.

Reasons of Divorce

One of the main reasons for divorce is physical or emotional abuse. Constant abuse by a partner of the other spouse destroys mutual respect and turns the marriage into a caustic relationship. Break-up and divorce of partners is the logical conclusion to this state of affairs. The abuse generally happens due to low self-esteem in a partner who instead of resolving all the domestic problems amicably resorts to violence, either physical or emotional or both.

The other main reason of divorce is financial problems. Before marriage, people have great expectations from their partners. They feel that after marriage life will be smooth and full of happiness and all their dreams will be fulfilled. But the problem arises when due to lack of finances, they realize that things are not going the way they had imagined.

It is said: “When poverty comes in, love goes out of the window”. If this financial struggle stretches over a long period of time, then it creates mental tension, regular quarrels, sarcastic comments, contempt and lack of concern for each other. Divorce is the natural result of this turmoil.

One other common reason of divorce is when one partner is involved in an extra-marital affair. This generally happens due to boredom in marriage or when someone meets a new romantic interest who is hard to resist. Such affairs occur after some years of marriage when both the partners start taking each other for granted. One needs to constantly work on one’s marriage just like any other relationship to make it interesting and lively, otherwise divorce is inevitable.

Some other reasons of divorce include absence of physical activity, lack of mutual respect, differences of opinion among the partners due to different educational backgrounds, religion and ambitions, and over-possessive behavior of a partner.

Emotional and Financial Impact

Divorce has its short- and long-term after-effects not only for the husband and wife but children as well. Generally, many partners after a messy divorce slide into depression and stress. They find it difficult to accept the new situation where they have to live without their family. They acquire a guilt complex, that is, they blame themselves for the whole problem or become sympathy-seekers. The whole world for them turns into a gloomy place.

For children, it becomes more difficult to accept the new situation because they have to live with one parent only. The family becomes lopsided and the children turn emotionally insecure and depressed. This results in deep changes in their personality that affect them profoundly. Some children become introverts while others become desperate attention-seekers. Many turn into bullies and become involved in petty crimes or drugs.

Divorce drains one emotionally as well as financially. All family wealth gets divided equally between the two partners. Women if not working have to prepare themselves for taking up a job. The cost of divorce in terms of the fee of lawyers is also quite high.

Can Divorce be Avoided and Marriage Salvaged?

When you realize that the situation in your marriage is becoming worse and that is there is no warmth left in the relationship, one needs to do some quick thinking and take action to salvage the relationship. Firstly, there is a need to analyze the situation – what went wrong? The next step is to discuss the problem with each other. Try to forgive the other partner on minor faults and make a resolve that in future no partner will criticize or blame each other for the problems of day-to-day life.

If you find the situation is quite bad and you cannot bring it to a solution on your own, then it is better to take the help of a marriage counselor. If the cause of rift in marriage is an unforgivable reason such as chronic escapades outside the marriage, then it is better to go for divorce so that you can start your life all over again.