5 Ways The Throw A Party Without Getting Thrown Out

I remember the last party I went to...uh, ok. It was mine. My favorite lite beverage in hand, drinking games 'round the round table, and some intense music that I'm sure was carrying to the building over. When suddenly around 3:20 a.m.,-a knock at the door by the local "proud to protect and serve" asking us to break it up (and shut it up).

We dispersed and I thought it was over. Then a letter showed up on my door the next morning, asking me to head over to the leasing office for another round table that somehow, I didn't think would be as much fun. What followed was a 30-minute intensive on possible non-renewal of my lease if we failed to stop the parties.

I really wanted to comply. But 1) My apartment is generally considered the party place, 2) I already had plans for another soirée, and 3) Do you seriously think that I can change 1 and 2?

So now what? Time to think seriously about life? Blah. Now that that was over, time to think on a better party-throwing method to head off homelessness. I've come up with a few helpful tips that can keep you and your parties out of trouble.

Top Party Tip #1: Have a plan

Ok, so this may be a bit more difficult than simply calling everyone up at 7 p.m. for a party at 9, but a plan can head off disaster. My favorite? "Official" poker night, complete with the hats, the coinage (paper if you can afford it), and really good food...not just chips. What this accomplishes? Quieter music and inability to dance due to being full. If you keep down the sound, you'll keep down the citations.

Party Tip #2: Prepare the neighbors

What do I mean by prepare them? Invite them! What this accomplishes? Lack of people to report you to the office and local p.d. because they're all involved in the 1-11.

Party Tip #3: Take it outside

This may seem counter-intuitive. Not necessarily. A party by the pool or a grill-out can often remain a tad calmer than a party without all the outdoor distraction. Even better-Plan a midnight volleyball or dodgeball game in a park close to the homestead and bring those dumb glow sticks...only Bambi and Thumper will be kept awake, and as long as you don't have a giant strobe light to shine in their eyes while driving away, you should be fine. Extra hint: Stay clear of glass bottles. Most parks don't allow them.

Party Tip #4: Plan a dinner party...with Crazy Bikers!

Yeah, I'm kidding. Seriously though, take the party to cheap nearby Bar and Grill with live music or a juke box. A good group of friends, great food, and a little tuneage always means awesome times. And the clincher of the whole thing: NO CLEANUP!

This worked really well last night when a few of my friends were getting a little rambunctious and I made the move of taking the party to the Pub. We ended up sloppily singing karaoke, met a crazy gang of bikers who ended up being really entertaining, and then closed the place down. It was great times and we never even bothered the neighbors.

So consider hitting up a nearby dive the next time your crew starts getting a little rowdy for your humble abode and humbler neighbors. (Remember to tip your servers.)

Party Tip #5: Plan a beginning with the end in mind

My mom used to say that nothing good happens after midnight. She obviously has never been to a slammin' after-party. Like tip # 4, you want to go out on the town, but still want to play host a little at your place. Not a problem. If you really want to insure that you won't have to lay your head next to Gary, the guy under the bridge, take mom's advice a little and invite friends to pre-party instead of an after party. Then head out on the town around 11 p.m. What this accomplishes? An awesome start to a night out, got to show off your digs, and got to play host without upsetting the neighbors. (I can't believe I actually listened a little to mom!)

That rounds out my five tips on getting down in your apartment without making problems with the office or the law. Now what are you still sitting at the computer for? Get to planning! And let me know how it goes down.