Sole Custody - The Best Type Of Custody For Your Family?

If you are in the process of ending a relationship involving children, and your relationship with your ex is heated, you may have thought about pursuing sole custody so that you would be completely responsible for the kids without having to involve your ex. Prior to deciding to pursue total custody, stop and think about the emotional and financial costs that a custody battle would entail.

There are two types of sole custody. Sole legal custody involves one parent having all decision-making authority for the child. Generally, this is the type of custody that may be generically referred to as sole custody. Sole physical custody means that the child will live with one parent with the other parent usually receiving visitation.

Joint legal custody is most often granted so that both parents remain involved in making decisions. Studies have shown that noncustodial parents who get to participate in parenting tend to remain involved in their children's lives. Joint physical custody is another form of joint custody where the child lives half the time with one parent and half the time with the other parent.

In order to give sole legal custody to a parent, the court will want proof that the other parent cannot perform the parental role. Parents who receive sole custody will still be responsible for complying with court orders regarding visitation and provision of information about the children to the other parent. Courts rarely take away all parenting privileges from a parent who wishes to be involvement with their children even when the child has been abused. The court may award you sole custody, and then order the other parent into treatment with the understanding that the custody decision could be amended at a later time if the unfit parent completes the treatment required.

Sole custody is not a given in any situation. The judge is supposed to rule based on the best interests of the children. But, your definition of best interests and the court's may vary widely.

Certain situations will make an award of sole legal custody more likely, though not guaranteed. Child abuse or neglect is a possible case where the judge is more likely to make a full custody award. Since the practice of one parent making false abuse accusations in custody battles has became more prevalent, you will need solid proof of abuse. Some judges have been known to give custody to the abuser, believing that the other parent was making unfounded accusations.

If your ex is serving a jail term, especially if it's a long sentence, you may be able to win sole custody. Substance abuse or mental illness may also be viewed as just cause to grant custody to the other parent.

A domestic violence history can sometimes be seen as reason to grant custody to the victimized parent. The court will be considering the effects on the children more than what acts were done to you. Some judges don't consider abuse of the mother to be sufficient reason to take away decision-making rights if the children were not involved or abused themselves.

If your ex does not see the children, you may be able to get full custody. Often, exes appear out of nowhere when they find out about the court action. If the ex says that he or she wants to remain involved, it's not likely that legal custody will be granted to the other parent.

Consider what going for sole custody is going to cost you. Financially, the bills could easily run into the five-figure range. The stress of a prolonged court fight is extreme and could permanently damage your health. Your children may be put in the middle and used as pawns to spy on you and perpetuate the ex's agenda. You may even be threatened or harmed physically by the ex or one of his or her friends. Kidnapping or other harm to the children beyond emotional abuse could take place.

Even if you share joint legal custody with your ex, you may be able to get some protection from a violent or vindicative ex. Decision making authority could be split be areas such as one parent being responsible for school decision and the other parent being in charge of medical concerns. There are professionals called parenting coordinators that serve as the go between so that warring parents don't have to necessarily communicate with each other.

Before starting a custody battle, consider your options carefully. Discuss your chances of winning with your attorney along with what options would be available for helping you share legal custody with the other parent without major harm to you. You may decide a custody fight is not worth the potential ramifications.

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