Retracing Your Steps Online

You’ve always been the type of person who didn’t want too much clinging (from both parties) when it comes to dating, yet most of your reservations have been blown to bits the moment you’ve met your current partner online. Not only does he seem to be very concerned on whether he’s intruding on your time, he’s also a single parent – and that appeals to you especially after you’ve seen how close he is to his kid.

Recent events have made you feel insecure however. You know you are far from clingy, yet why do you feel as if you’re the one hovering about all the time? Yours is a classic story. You met at a singles dating online room. You chat for a while. You get to know each other. After about two weeks of doing this nightly, you meet up. Things click, and you go on many other dates. You got to see his kid once, and that was it. The kid seemed to like you, and you didn’t want to push it. Besides, you know that one of the classic rules of dating a single parent is not to ever get in between him and his child.

What you have not anticipated, however, is that single parents are as human as the rest of us. Just because they managed thus far to balance their lives does not mean that they have no desire to spend some quality time with their friends, or have some alone time. You also have to factor in that becoming a single parent might have made them put some career goals on hold – the key phrase being “on hold.” At some point, these individuals would want to take up where they left off, and not only will this take a lot of time, it will also take a lot of energy. Being a parent doesn’t negate these desires. In fact, having these needs met would lead to a more well-rounded parent, admittedly a better one, rather than one who is grumpy, lonely, and angry.

So, be a lot more understanding. If you feel that you are not getting enough time with your single parent, remember that you did meet online, after all. There are still ways that you can keep in touch with him in between those sparse dates. Someone who’s that busy is bound to have a Blackberry, or some other gadgets. Aside from your usual e-mails and text messages of, “Hi, there,” you could try for sending some jokes or mood-lifting e-cards. After all, how many times can you really say, “Hi, there,” before you start looking like an e-stalker?!

If by chance you catch him up on IM, don’t get too eager to message him. Stay online for a while without sending him a message at all, and wait if he will do the first move. Sometimes, even in this modern world, men feel good if it were them who usually do the first move. Give him that ‘privilege’ to be THE man. If he didn’t even send you a smile, don’t think badly about it. Drop him a smile and log-off. Chances are, he might be doing something important, say, he’s conversing with his boss via IM and doesn’t want to disturbed. To avoid the clingy you to surface especially in this kind of situation, DON’T THINK, just feel. Thinking will come later after you have finally come to know him offline.

And if he’s really that busy, chances are that there are times he doesn’t even have enough time to surf the net and keep up with news that interests him. Get to know his interests and send him links to articles he otherwise might miss. If he’s a gadget man, a cool new product or some upcoming releases could be one way of perking up an otherwise tiring day, and make good conversation pieces when you DO finally get to have dinner.

All in all, if you met online, that’s certainly an advantage for you. There was already a meeting of the minds. It’s time to channel that vibe again.