A Woman’s Top Secret Guide To The First Date

Dating is a fairly complicated game. We want to make sure that we stay true to ourselves, but at the same time, we want to impress someone and make sure that we don’t chase them away. It seems like a delicate balancing act, and only serving to make the process more difficult for women is the fact that they don’t truly know what men want. What’s the best way to attract a guy? How should you impress him? Is he going to think more of an intellect and class, or are cheap frills the most effective way to capture his attention? There are so many different thoughts and beliefs and misconceptions that dating can seem like a treacherous, foggy maze of which there is no map. This isn’t the case, however – true, enjoyable dating is actually a very simple, enjoyable process, as long as you have a little insight.

I divide dating into two periods: short term, and long term. To give them appropriate definitions, short term is generally represented by those first four dates or so. where you know about the other person, but you don’t truly know them yet, and how they react to certain things. Long term, however, is that period where the two of you know each other pretty well, are serious about each other, and continues through the rest of the relationship. The most important part of short term is the first date. First impressions are powerful and can shape the way we view a person. This brings up certain issues that women seem to have about what to do and how to behave on the first date to make it perfect. I’m going to go through these issues, and show you what guys really think about them.

Eating seems to be a strange and yet not uncommon issue for women on a first date. It’s very small and the most unimportant, but it seems many girls tend to get mildly nervous about what to eat in front of a man. It seems a lot of women are worried about how they might appear if they order something like a cheeseburger or those onion rings, and instead end up ordering something leafy and green. They think that eating a normal meal in front of a man will make him think less of her, or that she’s a pig! But is this really the case?

Of course not. All a guy really wants out of a date is to have a fun and interesting time. He wants to enjoy your company, and can you guess the most effective way to ensure this is happening? Being yourself and making sure you are acting comfortably and naturally around him. Order something you enjoy eating, and let him know that you’re enjoying it! If you normally would order that cheeseburger then order it. – Just make sure you have table manners! If you’re already on a date with the man, it means that he already thinks you’re attractive. He really doesn’t care if you look the way you look eating greasy cheeseburgers or leafy green veggies, he just knows that he’s on a date and having a good time with you. Eating like a rabbit isn’t going to make him think any more of you, and you’re a lot better off just eating what you like and being comfortable around him.

Secondly, dress. This is a much larger topic, especially with younger girls. They wonder if they should dress in a flirty, provocative manner, maybe more so than they normally do. They recognize the fact that men are extremely attracted to the female body, and the rationality is that if you if you show him yours, he’ll be more attracted to you and like you more. The verdict?

Not at all. Of course men are attracted to the female body. But that is completely irrelevant when it comes to dating him. Any good guy isn’t going to stick around a girl just because she dresses in loose or flirtatious styles. I mean, think about it, do you honestly think that strippers have loving, respecting, compassionate relationships? No, of course not. They would probably have chosen a different career choice if that were the case. Men very much find the female body attractive, but they don’t really date promiscuous girls. You can attract a man and have him respect you at the same time. – Of course clothing is important in that aspect, but of far more importance is a girl’s attitude. There is nothing, and I cannot stress this more, that a man finds sexier than a confident girl. There is nothing more attractive than a girl who knows she’s got a lot to be proud of. Barely there clothing does not send the message of confidence to a guy. - It practically screams insecurity. Make sure to dress classy and attractively. Men’s tastes vary drastically, there are plenty of guys who think that a t shirt on a girl is absolutely gorgeous, while others are much more attracted to more formal attire. No matter what your body type, just find clothes that fit you well, but don’t show your entire body off for the world to see. You’re a woman, use that fashion sense and find an outfit that looks great on your body type. When it all comes down to it, men don’t want to date a street walker.

The most important thing you can have on a first date is good conversation. Unfortunately, this can sometimes be difficult. Picture it this way: you want to walk on a long, thin board that’s placed between two bottomless chasms, each on one side. Now, one of them I call “Awkward Silence,” and the other, “Overbearing and Flaky.” You don’t want to fall into them – they lead to a bad date. Now, unfortunately, it isn’t often that two people meet and the conversation falls like rain. Normally one or both of you are slightly anxious, and you’re actually so concerned with what you should say that you can’t say it completely naturally. This is a problem that needs to be overcome, because conversation is critical – the fastest way possible to get someone to open up to you and like you is to get them talking. Conversation is powerful. If you can actually get them to open up and have a good talk, you’ve done a very good thing. But often, it just seems so easy to fall into those two bottomless pits I spoke about. Everyone has had those times with someone where you just don’t know what to say, and neither do they, or maybe you’ve been with someone who seemed to just talk and talk about absolutely nothing interesting at all just searching for something to actually talk about. So how do you fix this?

Getting him talking is the key. And the great thing about this is that it’s not that hard! Here’s where human nature comes into play. We all enjoy talking about things that interest us. Whether it’s our pastimes or hobbies, our passions, or even our jobs, the best way to get someone to start talking is to tap in on their interests. Just make sure that you do this naturally. You have to actually seem genuinely interested in at least learning about the topic. Let’s say you’re on a date with a guy who loves to play football. Asking him the question, “So you uh, like football, right?” is going to sound a bit awkward and forced. Remember, you have to seem genuinely interested! Act curious and a bit excited, ask questions a bit more specific, such as, “What position are you?” Or, “How did you get into playing?” Once you get him talking about his interests, you’ve definitely got him hooked! This is great for you, as it does more than one thing. For one, it gets him to respect you as a great listener, and also enjoy your company. Two, it gets you more informed on things you could ask him about in the future to keep conversations going. If the guy is opening up to you about his interests, you can just about guarantee he’s having a good time with you.

Guys really aren’t that mystifying or complex, but we really do deserve a little more credit than we get sometimes. Most of us aren’t just looking for a good night between the sheets or a pretty face to hang all over our shoulder. What guys want from a date is an enjoyable time with someone they feel comfortable around. From a relationship we want someone we can share things with, have a good time with, and someone we respect and value as an individual. So on your first few dates with a guy, remember to dress confidently but attractive, don’t be afraid to do things like order pizza or a cheeseburger, and get the conversation flowing. Follow these tips and you’ll have him in no time.