Divorce Myths By James Wallis At Isnare.com Ezine Articles

There are other matters which have assumed mythical proportions for people because too many people continue believing in them. There are those who still believe that a white-skinned person is essentially better than a black-skinned one, all blondes are more or less dumb, and women can’t park cars. In the realm of marriage and divorce, the myths are really varied, as the relation between man and woman is an eternal topic of which human kind will never tire. We will explore (and perhaps explode) three such divorce myths below. This is not to hurt anyone’s sentiments, but to try and get beyond mere gossip.

Broken-hearted Wives

Do women suffer greater emotional damage than men from a divorce? It is generally believed to be so. A distressed woman is expected to cry; if she does not do so, she is either hard-hearted or scheming. Similarly, a man is not supposed to cry, and if he does so, well, he must be a wimp. How long would our literature and films keep toeing the given line for gender roles? The straight answer is, as long as people keep buying myths. There is no way to prove conclusively that women have been shattered more by divorce than men where emotions are concerned.

Causes and Fallouts

A myth is not a rumour. In other words, it is never wholly unfounded. Here are some of the causes and effects of the assumption mentioned above.

Men have been traditionally portrayed as more stoic and physically strong as well than women. Wives are home-makers and husbands are more career-oriented. Needless to say, the equation no more stands.

Women have been hit harder economically by divorce, at least in the UK. Government surveys reveal that a larger number of women run into debt after divorce, but more men file for bankruptcy.

Women are still not expected to remarry as fast as men, and if they do, it should be because they are ‘seeking support’. This, too, has gone for a toss over the last two decades.

Partners at War

Are ex-spouses destined to be at loggerheads with each other for time immemorial? If a divorce causes furious gossiping near the coffee machine at office, then ex-spouses maintaining friendly terms can raise storms in the tea cups. The question is why did they part if they are being so nice to each other? The answer is perfectly simple; two good people can part over mutual differences and still maintain their politeness towards each other. There are many spouses who divorce, remarry, raise a new family, and still continue being friends with their former partners. This is the age of amicable divorces and Britain needs to wake up to the fact that not all of it is to save money. Sometimes, relations just don’t work out, and the two people concerned part because they can actually afford to do so.

An Example

Sir Paul, the famous Beatle, has finished quarrelling with his prized ex wife. They had gone to the extent of washing each other’s dirty linen in public, being openly sarcastic and vengeful, and shamelessly squabbling over the assets. Thankfully, their three-year old daughter and public disgust have brought them to their senses, and they are actually being pleasant to one another again.

Men Remarry

Do men eagerly remarry after a divorce, while women are not so willing to taste the bitterness again? This time, there is some statistical support. It seems that remarriage rates are still higher among men than women, with more men remarrying in their late forties. There is also an increasing clan of successful thirty-five plus women who have no wish to remarry. This is not because they are being demure, but more so as they lead a very busy life. Marriage means a certain set of responsibilities, and taking it all up again at the expense of a career on the growth path is not very feasible. Marriage also means, sooner or later, the responsibilities of motherhood, and it is better not to be a mother than being a bad or careless one. And these women are not really being hard-hearted; they just don’t want to gamble again when they have managed to get things back on track once more.

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