Refuse To Be Offended

To take offense damages relationships causing them to breakdown. This may be acceptable if we are sinned against. Maybe it is understandable, that is to take offense if someone sins against us, but we must still love them. Offense breaks the bond of love and this causes relationships to break down.

Some people like to be offended; they seem to relish the experience. They look for reasons to cause distress and to become offended when no offense is meant. To be in a condition of offense is a most unpleasant state of mind and best avoided at all costs. Offense is the root of bitterness, it affects all aspects of the lives it rules and it taints thoughts and deeds.

When I am sinned against; when I am the victim of slander, malicious gossip, theft or whatever might cause me distress I do not have to be offended. If someone offers me the opportunity to become angry and to take offense it is a choice either to accept or to reject.

The Bible tells us not to take offense.

In Proverbs 19:11 A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.
Proverbs 16.32 Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.
Proverbs 25:28 Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control.

Proverbs states it is credited to us as wisdom not to take of fence. Cities were, in times past, defended by walls. For a city not to have a wall meant the city would be continually under attack and occupied by a hostile force. So it is if people are unprotected by the wisdom of not taking offense; the person with no wall of wisdom will be ruled by others. Do not let others dictated your mood, your state of mind, when offered offense refuse to accept. May it be credited to you as wisdom!

The futility of the whole experience is pure folly. If someone offends you by accident then the only way open is to simply forgive; as it would be small minded not too. If someone offends you deliberately then why allow them to dictate your mood, simply refuse to take offense. You are at the mercy of anyone who makes you loose your temper. This does not mean you must become apathetic. It means to love – loving your enemies and blessing those who curse you.

1Corrinithens 13 is a chapter dedicated to love; 1Cor 13:5 says of love: “It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” You see it is simply un-Christian to take offense.

When I read Luke 17:1- 10 the message urges me not to take offense. The passage seems to have four main points: - 1. Not to be offended or give offense, 2. to Forgive, 3. to increase in our faith and 4. to be as servants, that is to serve and not to expect glory for what we are expected to do as a matter of course as a Christian.

Luke 17:1-10 Starts by telling us not to be offended and almost as a parenthesize we are told what happens to us if we cause offense. It is better to have a millstone around our neck and to be thrown into the sea. Make sure you are not one of these people who cause offense to others and end up being cursed.

Take heed and remember always if you are at odds with a fellow believer and you recall this as you pray, in love you must forgive them there on the spot as you pray; this is spiritual. Then go to the person who is sinning against you and talk to them; this is on a relationship level. In Luke 17:3 it says to rebuke a brother who sins. Again this rebuking should be done gently as it says in Galatians 6:1 [Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently…] this rebuking must be done gently and out of love.

If the person who has offended you repeatedly asks forgiveness each time they sin against you then you must forgive them again and again and again. Each time you are sinned against you are wiser and less gullible but to forgive and forgive is our only option; being careful that we do not allow resentment to build up inside of us.

As a Christian you are called to love the person sinning against you even if that person is not interested in being forgiven or loved by you. Go to them and restore the relationship you had, built on trust; as trust is the building block of relationships. Forgiveness is unilateral and unconditional from God and we must be the same with our relationships with one another.

We are called to have faith. What is faith? Faith is having a high opinion of God and trusting in him [Hebrews 11:11]. Is someone treating you worse than you should be treated; the answer is most probably yes. However, if we are saved by Christ we have better than what we deserve. We are probably not receiving worse treatment than that we have dished out to others.

Loving others in Christ will mean we must have a low opinion of self and a high opinion of God. In Genesis we are told of Joseph and how his brothers, who intended evil against him, sold him into slavery. Years later his brothers were at his mercy and he could have taken his revenge. However, he said what his brothers intended for evil God meant it for good.

No one can touch you except those who God allows – this may not always be pleasant but God will use it for good; so then how can you be offended?

There is an exception to this and that is to become offended on behalf of others. We are called to defend those who are sinned against. An example is in one of Paul’s letters 2Tim chapter 4. Paul complains that no one came to his support when he needed it most and how most of is friends abandoned him. Yet he prays for them and asks that God not hold it against them. However, Alexander the metalworker he hopes God will punish. What is the difference? Alexander was doing great harm to the message of the gospel and thereby doing great damage to those seeking God. Notice that Paul calls on God to take the matter into hand. God is the one who will judge and pass judgment and judgment or revenge is best left up to him.

Take not offense and be at peace with God asking everything in prayer and receiving Gods love and forgiveness and in turn extending this to everyone around you.