Why Is Infidelity Higher In Men? By James Wallis At Isnare.com Ezine Articles

What is Infidelity?

The European Psychological Association along with the UK Psychological Society defined infidelity as the behaviour of engaging in romantic, intimate romantic liaisons with a third party outside the confines of marriage. Infidelity can be committed with members of the opposite or same gender. In common terms, it is described as extramarital relationships. Husbands usually commit it. Men cheat on their wives engaging in romantic relationships with other women outside the marriage.

Reasons

Fertility: The foremost reason why men indulge in such behaviour is related to the libido. According to genetics, males have the libido and neurotransmitter in greater magnitude. This makes them prone to engaging in intimate behaviour at any given time. Such behaviour is natural and driven. In addition, men seem to be fertile for a long time.

In comparison, women have a finite fertility cycle. This limits their reproductive years. Thus, a woman may finish her reproductive cycle when the male is peaking. This drives men to seek younger female counterparts to engage in romantic liaisons. The basic reason is to satisfy the physical urge and sire as many offspring as possible.

Men cannot remain monogamous. They seek various partners at different stages of life. Their genetic and personality structures tend to make them selfish. They tend to seek the fulfilment of personal urges and drives.

Inability to Cope with Marital Love: Social psychologists argue that male and female personalities are designed differently. Women mature and develop all the time. This makes them flexible and able to adjust according to change. Men are basically selfish. They resent change and consequent effects.

They are unable to change according to circumstances and time. They think that life and priorities are always going to be the same. They are unable to deal with changes in marital love. Men tend to expect the same kind of attention and love experienced during the first years of marriage.

Psychologists state that marital love is never the same in a marriage. It is constantly evolving and changing in accordance with time and circumstances. Physical love transforms into romantic love and then into trust and affection. Events of birth of children, growth in individual personality and change in job status are bound to affect marital love. It exists but merely changes form to suit the circumstances.

Women are able to adjust to these changes. Men are unable to. They still demand and expect the same physical love as before. When the husband does not get this frequently within the folds of marriage, he is forced to seek it outside the marriage.

End of Male Dominance: Society has changed over the past few years. This has propelled many macro and micro changes in individual lives. Traditional gender roles have been shattered. Women are being educated. They are stepping outside the house. Women are now dominating the workplaces and even breaking the glass ceiling.

All this has prompted a change in perspective and lifestyle. Women demand and expect their husbands to bear family responsibilities equally as them. This includes housework and child care. Husbands today are expected to chip in with more than financial contribution.

These changes have not suited the man of the house. Men tend to feel threatened by such behaviour. They tend to feel intimidated. This propells them to lose interest in the marriage where they are not respected anymore. They feel that doing housework is not their job.

They fail to realise that gender roles have evolved with time. Thus, there is a communication gap between husbands and wives. This leads to a communication breakdown where each one refuses to indulge the other. It becomes an ego issue. Arguments and ego clashes eventually cause a marital breakdown.

Husbands are forced to seek solace outside the marriage. It usually leads to many extramarital relationships. As soon as a man feels threatened by one, he ends it to begin another. He has the power and control.

A culmination of these factors increases the rate of men engaging in extramarital relationships. Infidelity is not the prerogative of men. But they are more vulnerable to it. One way to save a marriage from the perils of extramarital relationship is by seeking professional intervention. It is not possible to control and change the natural urges of man. Behavioural therapists and marriage counsellors seek to regulate it through:

• Hypnosis and introspection

• Frank and direct communication with spouse

• Modifying individual priorities

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