A Mother's Christmas Reflections

I must admit…at first I felt a bit sorry for myself.I was alone at home--and as I stared at our bare Christmas tree I realized that, for the first time in my life as a mom, I would have to put the decorations up myself this year! It was the day to do it, so I poured myself some eggnog and tackled the festive task at hand. With carols playing in the background, my thoughts wandered very easily into nostalgia mode. Memories came flooding back to me. So many Christmases have come and gone.

The holiday season is a time for beginnings and endings…firsts and lasts.In our household, putting up the tree marks the beginning of the holidays. It also heralds the end of another year. It is an opportunity to reflect upon our blessings, put any troubles behind us and turn over a new leaf. I remembered this time last year – decorating the tree with my husband and children. Every December I take out the same colorful mementos and think to myself, “What will change for me next year?” I wonder, “How will my life be different when I open these same boxes next Christmas?” My mind drifted to the family members, friends and acquaintances that have graced our lives recently and devoted a moment to the ones who are no longer with us. Did I make the most of my time with them? Is there anyone who I would like to reach out to now? I decided to embrace the epiphany that I was experiencing and allowed the Christmas spirit to take hold of me. I wanted to build upon this positive energy, impart these feelings of goodwill to my children and carry my positive attitude into my daily life. Gradually, what began as a wistful trip down memory lane became introspection about the holiday season as it pertains to me as a mother.

The holidays are a time for reflection. Rituals and traditions serve as valuable reference points that help put our lives into perspective. During the holidays we can seize the moment, stop to breathe and take stock of things… or be carried away with the excitement and miss the real significance of it all. My daughters continue to grow, stages come and go, frustrations ebb and flow. Regretfully, parts of their childhood are gone forever. On the other hand, I am relieved that there are issues I will never have to deal with again As I placed the holly around our living room, I felt a sense of pride in the evolution of our family and was genuinely excited about the new challenges that lie ahead.

Being a parent is a lifelong commitment. Each moment is so fleeting and our role is ever changing. It is an evolutionary process, to be sure, requiring more than a little patience, stamina and ingenuity. I asked myself whether I have made the most of the special qualities that I can offer my family. I began to think about the many situations that I, as a parent, have been presented with over these many months. What have I learned? Is there anything that I have chosen to ignore or failed to recognize? What steps can I take to improve as a mom and how can I help my children become better human beings?

Ultimately the decorating took longer than expected, but I must say that our tree looks quite lovely. The term, “a labor of love” took on particularly significance for me this time around. My sincerest wish for all of you this holiday season is that you too will enjoy a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment in knowing that you are doing your best to provide a good life for your family. I hope that you continue to meet the daily demands of being a mom with wisdom, understanding and humor. Let’s take the magic that lights up our children at this time of year and maintain it throughout the year.