How To Stop Your Divorce - The Steps You Need To Take By Dave Green At Isnare.com Ezine Articles

The unthinkable, yet undeniable feeling of losing your wife has just manifested itself into your very being and you think there is absolutely nothing that can be done at this point. Your marriage is falling apart. You beg and plead with promises to change. She stands there and with a straight face, no emotion, unlike all the other times before. There has got to be a way to stop your divorce.

You panic and although your heart is broken, you feel scared and helpless. It doesn't have to be that way, though. It is time to dig into the very core of her decision. Could it be trust? How about irreconcilable differences? You are just not getting along? Although these may very well be the correct answers, disagreeing with her is not how to stop your divorce from taking place. It is time to finally allow her to be right.

If desperation is prevalent, it will make it much harder to win her back. Here, let's break it down. "John, you have been lying to me all these years, so what makes you think that I can trust you anymore?"

You respond, "I know I have been lying all these years but together we can build your trust again."

Do not say, "Oh I am so sorry, I promise that I will never lie to you again."

She is pulling away from someone who is just the opposite of where she's at. She doesn't want you to make promises and feel sorry for yourself. That is why it is important to agree with her, without being insincere. When you take on this role, although it seems to be a scary and uncomfortable place to be, you have to remember that you are wanting to stop your divorce.

When you apply that simple perspective in winning her back, it is a 'make or break' deal. You will either lose her forever or she will love you all over again. You are willing to do anything to stop your divorce, so being totally vulnerable with her is the key. It is a desperate attempt without being desperate in the way you go about it.

So you agree with all of her emotions and feelings. All the while agreeing with her, you have allowed her to completely open up with what is causing her to pull away from you. Now she is also in that vulnerable state, where she is going to ultimately 'make the decision'. Two things will happen now to let you know if you will be able to stop your divorce.

You have talked about everything and it is all out in the open. She looks at you and smiles and because of her new found love for you, you two embrace and then she schedules your first marriage counseling appointment.

However, there is another outcome that may come about. She looks at you and smiles. She lets you know that she forgives you, but it just is not what she wants anymore. She has reached a point in her life that there is no way that you can possibly stop your divorce. You walk away, knowing that you did all that you can. You realize that you must now move on. She was calm and sincere and that is how you really know that it will never work.

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