Divorced Dads Tips: Winning In Family Court Requires Clarity

DISCLAIMER: The following is NOT legal advice, nor is it a substitute for legal advice. If you are in Family Court you will need legal advice, so please see a lawyer.

Winning in Family Court Requires Clarity, especially when you are a divorced dad.

The first step to winning in is to clarify and define your goals. If you don't define your goals, someone else will, and you could end up with results that you probably won't be happy with. Remember this: Your child needs you more than ever. Being a winner means making peace for your kids, even when it hurts. So, plan with your end result in mind. You do have options and you do have rights.

The words “Fathers' rights” are not dirty words. Fathers are natural protectors of their children. Men can be good parents, and they have a right to be treated as good parents in the court system. But you have to act that way. People are not what they say, they are what they do.

I have seen really good men and women who struggle to be the best parents they can be under the difficult circumstances of separation, divorce and the costs of enormous legal fees in Family Court. And I've seen plenty who can't afford a lawyer.

But ask yourself no matter what gender you are - don't you want to be with your child? Haven't we raised the awareness of equality issues to a point where young boys who grew up in the last four decades expect equal treatment? Fathers, once they enter into Family Court, are under constant assault. You need a new set of skills to deal with these problems.

For example, men fail to recognize that when a woman makes the decision to go to Family Court, she didn't make it overnight. Usually, she has made it over a long period of time.

The unfortunate ugly truth is this: When you’re a man served with Family Court papers, your soon to be ex is not "your best friend" nor does she need to be rescued from her perspective. If you don't understand that and you try to "rescue” her, you could find yourself facing a restraining order.

Find some people who have already been where you are who can explain things to you, who can mentor you, guide you, and coach you. And who have found REALLY GOOD lawyers.

Your children deserve a family at peace. As parents it is your job to provide that. Your child has the right to your love and protection. But also recognize that justice begins in your heart, mind and soul. It's not often found at the end of a Family Court judge's gavel. Sadly, litigation is part of the equation...

Never let anyone tell you that you are no longer a parent to your child because you're a Dad. The most important part of finding your direction is to find out where you are so that you can begin to move forward.

Be observant enough to recognize when things are going poorly in your relationship with your child’s mother. Get the help necessary to plan an exit strategy well before Mom outmaneuvers you to your child's great disadvantage. Act with Clarity; Begin with the end result in mind.

Learn how to wage peace on behalf of your child during great provocation. It's an easier skill to acquire when you don't deny the reality of your situation. Accept that you have rights too.

During my divorce, I wished for a divorce roadmap. That’s why we created a weekly telewebcast, to help men like yourself.

If you've lost in Family Court, don't give up. There is always hope. You've likely lost because you didn’t understand that winning requires effectively "waging peace" for your children.

If you base your game plan and strategies upon those of successful fathers, you will improve your chances of success immeasurably. You need help from dads who have done what you are trying to do.