Is He A Keeper?

Or…is he one that needs to be thrown back? This article discusses the difference between a good man and one that is better off thrown back into the dating pool as fast as you can give him the good old heave ho. Here you’ll learn how to be on the look out for signs that he’s worth keeping around for the long term versus the signs a player, a commitment phoebe and/or a generally non-marriage material type guy gives off.

Right away, you meet someone and begin dating. You see each other for several months without any problems and then it comes time to take the relationship to the next level. How can you tell if this one is the right one for you or not?

Usually the answer is clear, but for those of us who need someone to come along and swat us up against the head to see the truth about the one we’re with, is what this article is all about so, let’s get started!

First of all it’s extremely important to know exactly what you want in a mate and stick to your guns when it comes to finding the one that possesses those sort of traits. That way you are less likely to get caught up with someone who “looks” like the real thing, “feels” like the real thing, “tastes” like the real thing, but really isn’t the real thing. Especially when it comes to romance, many a man will dive right in with both feet, doing everything he thinks it’s going to take to get the one he wants to fall in love with him but when it comes time to put his money where his mouth is so-to-speak then he’s running for the hills…

This is not what you need if you’re investing your heart and soul into this guy. The type of man you’ll want to look for if you want him to stick around for the long haul will involve a little work but will be well worth it in the end. As I said earlier, the first thing you need to do is to develop a shopping list of sorts of the personality traits you desire in your future mate, then take a good hard look in the mirror and see how many of those traits you possess yourself.

If the most important qualities you’re looking for are already embedded in your character then you’re set, but if not then it’s time to begin investing some time into developing that part of you. It’s important to become the person you‘re looking to attract. Since like attracts like then the one you truly desire will come around when he sees that you are of the same mind set as he is.

Next, after you‘ve determined that you have what it takes to land a “keeper,” then begin to examine the man you currently have in your life. How many items on your list does your current guy match up on? If he isn't most of them or more then I would begin taking a second look. See what it is that‘s attracting you to a man that‘s not matching what you‘re looking for deep down inside. Find out if what you’re looking for that’s missing in him can be added onto his character or not. If not, then either decide if you can live with this man the way he is right now forever or if it’s time to say goodbye.

We all know that a player’s character flaws are obvious, but what if you find a generally nice guy that just has problems committing? What to do then? If your goal in life is to settle down and marry then give him a little push. Now I didn’t say shove him to the alter, but if you’ve been in the relationship for several months and you want to go to the next level then gently give your guy a little nudge in that direction. If he’s willing to follow your lead then he’s a keeper, but if he bulks then you have another thing coming. He’s not going to be one to take that kind of risk so easily and you might want to keep on looking for someone a little more in tune with your needs..

If you’re looking for advice or sympathy in the love department, then you can go to www.kfjbooks.com and email Karen. Currently, Karen Farrell Jaworski is the author of three powerful dramas in the women’s contemporary fiction genre and works with women worldwide to help strengthen their lives.