Calling All Women! Don't Call Him First!

The perfect evening out with the girls ends in meeting a great guy and actually getting his phone number, and giving him yours, right? Well of course! You then do your secret little victory dance while he is not looking, and pride yourself on being strong and walking away with only a kiss and a smile. But then - the sinking feeling begins as the wait prolongs. Should YOU call him? How long do you wait? What if he never calls?

As a woman you are entitled to certain things. One is the right to change your mind at any given moment. The other is the right to RECEIVE the first call. So let me make that clear. You do NOT make the first call. Men chase - not women.

Actually, most men LIKE to be the pursuer in a relationship. Women perceived in the roll of the aggressor can be easily misconstrued as pushy, clingy or needy. Even if that was not your intent, it can be seen that way - so - let him call you.

Reason number two to let him be the first to call - one little word - "effort". Have you ever heard the old saying "Why buy the cow if you can have the milk for free?" Well, from a dating perspective, if you are so eager for him that you cannot even wait for him to call you - what does he have to do? Nothing. He knows you want him, and that gives him the advantage.

But there also another side effect to becoming the pursuer. It will completely KILL the chances of attraction growing, for you AND him. Like it or not, dating is a game at first. It's a fun game of chase, cowboys and Indians, cat and mouse, whatever you want to call it. But if you lay down and surrender before the game has even begun, do you think he is going to want to play? No.

Thirdly - you are in demand, baby! You need to show him, or let him believe that you are in demand, you are a sought after item and you are not going to be on the shelf for long! Do not, under any circumstance, let him think that you are sitting by the phone eagerly awaiting his call.

And while you very well MAY BE sitting there waiting for him to call - don't you DARE pick up that phone the first time he does! You are OUT! You are having fun, somewhere, NOT thinking of him. If you have to duct tape the phone to the wall - do not answer it. Wait a minimum of three hours before calling him back. Better yet, wait until the next day. His imagination will do wonders for YOU.

The fourth and final reason - allowing this to continue for a while - him calling you to ask you out - lets you know 100% that HE is INTERESTED in you. We all know what it feels like to sit there and wonder if he really is into you or not. Well, ladies, if he keeps calling, he IS. If you call though, every time you think about him, you are not going to know if he is chatting just to be nice. That will breed insecurity, then more needy behavior and - you guessed it - snuff the attraction.

So be the woman, and let him be the man. Let him call you. And if he doesn't call? His loss, honey. He was not showing you his true face then anyway, and you don't want that. So go and let him get you girl!