7 Critical Keys For Success, Part 5

Are you in the same old place? Are you looking to have a break out year? Looking to take charge of your life? Many people start off their Networking business with great hopes but no idea what it takes to make it successful. One must understand this simple but hard truth. We are where we are in life due to the way we think and the actions we take. If you are not in the place you want to be then we MUST change our thinking and actions. If you always do what you have always done you will always have what you had (author unknown). Learning to master these 7 critical areas will help you avoid the pitfalls that derail most people.

5. Managing Fear

I don't know of any area that might be more challenging for most of us. Highly successful people are always challenging themselves and operating out of their comfort zones. Your comfort zone got you where you are today, so if you want to expand where your at you will need to expand your comfort zone. When we try to overcome our fears by common sense and logic we usually experience limited success. Anytime the left brain (the logical side) and the right brain (the creative or imaginative side) try battle it out the right brain usually is the victor. How many times can we recall making something so big in our minds that we did anything to avoid approaching it. How about when we finally faced it? Did it turn out much easier than we expected? There is an old adage that says "action cures fear" and it is true. Action does cure fear, and the more you do something the easier and easier it gets. That is fine if we can get ourselves to that point, but that is exactly the problem- how do we get ourselves to take action? Now that question is not so easily answered, and once again I can easily write a book about this one point. Fear has many heads, it shows itself in many forms. See if you recognize any of these- procrastination, avoidance, lack of motivation, laziness, unorganized, perfectionism, not the right time, not enough knowledge, etc. These are all signs of fear, can you identify what you typically do? Anytime we try to expand ourself we increase the interaction between ourselves and others, and as we express our values and beliefs we open the door for others to reject these. So as we grow we are always going to experience feelings outside of our present comfort zone. The first thing one has to accept is that it goes with the territory, learn to embrace it.

So lets try to tackle this issue in way that we can see measurable results without writing a whole book. There are only two natural fears that we are born with, the fear of falling, and the fear of loud noises (there is some debate as to whether these are fears or reflexes). All other fears are learned. As we grew up we learned to associate feelings, emotions, and actions to certain situations. The event in itself does not have meaning we assigned it meaning; when a,b,or c happens we determined that we feel x, y or z. This could be emotional pain, physical pain, or perceived pain. It can come from a personal experience or something we witnessed happen to another person. It all comes down to how we associate the event to the outcome in our minds. We are constantly linking things and events together. We link these events together with pictures, self talk, emotions, sounds and smells. One of the first things is to realize how you associate these events together. For most people the primary method is self talk, or pictures though we are always using a combination to some degree. Self talk can be so powerful that almost everyone I mentor discovers they use this at some level. Many people have a small voice speaking to them all the time and they don't even recognize it on a conscious level. So what we need to do is to rewire our brain and give new meaning(s) to the associations that are holding us back. This is definitely going to take some very quiet time with self reflection and self examination.

Learning to do this is actually quite easy, it is more of just becoming aware of your thoughts- the sounds, pictures, or feelings running through our mind. What is the primary mode that you use? Mine is definitely self talk, but pictures are also very powerful for me. Now think of things that make you uncomfortable, or fearful. Maybe it could be something like cold calling someone on the phone you do not know. When you recreate this in your mind, what is going on? What pictures do you see? What sounds do you hear? What emotions are you experiencing? In what parts of your body? I discovered that when I get nervous I tighten up in my chest and have very shallow breathing. Just focusing on relaxing that spot and breathing deeply helped me a great deal. At first it took a little effort, now when that recognize that feeling, I can say to myself 3, 2, 1 and it is gone. It will become that fast and easy! I started by picturing the phone in my hand while sitting on a beach in a tropical setting. I experienced it to the maximum, I could see the beach, feel the sand between my toes, feel the sun and breeze against my body, hear the sound of children playing, and the lapping of the surf on the beach and embraced the total relaxation I felt. I used self talk to congratulate myself on taking action, using positive affirmations. I then did the opposite- I pictured all the pain I could think with not making the call. I pictured myself working to I was old, fat, tired, hopeless, and alone. Pain and pleasure are the two greatest motivators we have, use both to your advantage. I do this when I am using steps 3 & 4, this is why putting up pictures and sayings are important. When I use my quiet time in the morning going over what I must accomplish for the day is when I use the exercise of closing my eyes and creating positive pictures, emotions, and self talk. I imagine just how I want that particular event to go, and see it with a positive outcome. I then do this for all my important daily events, weekly events, and life purpose. This will take less time than you expect and you will be empowered to take on the day and its challenges. I also do this just before I take action on the event. Doing this daily will lay the foundation for your subconscious mind to attract the outcomes you desire, and help you overcome your greatest fears.

1. Learn to become aware of your thoughts, feelings, emotions, self talk, etc.
2. Identify the areas that cause you the greatest tension, fear, anxiety
3. Identify what your primary mode for handling fear, like perfectionism, lack of motivation, etc
4. Get pictures, quotes and anything that has meaning hanging up where you see it everyday
5. Spend some of the quiet time in step 4, going through your daily challenges
6. Now attach positive images, sounds, pictures, emotions to the event (see a positive outcome)
7. Attach negative images, sounds, pictures, emotions if you don't take action
8. Do this for your main daily goals, weekly goals, and your ultimate lifestyle

Bottom line is this-YOUR DREAMS AND GOALS HAVE TO BE BIGGER THAN YOUR fears. Which ever one you feed the most will drive you; do you want to be driven by your fears or your dreams? Remember doing what you have always done will give you what you have always had. Doing the work will pay dividends!