Find Your Foundation

I often hear people say things like "if only I could win $1,000,000, or if only I had..... or if only my partner did.... then I'd be happy".

Well... here's the thing, if you want to begin to lay your foundations, it's time to begin looking at your circumstances and constructively assess what you can do to help yourself, rather than hoping or wishing that something external to you will change.

The fact is we're all born into this world in exactly the same way, i.e. naked and Dependant on someone for survival (usually our parents).

As we grow, we perceive the circumstances and environment around us and then shape ourselves (both mentally and physically) to adapt with our view of that reality. Due to this shaping or molding to fit in with what we see, we lose touch with our core strength of our true essence. We then simply rely on how others perceive us in order to determine where we stand in society.

For example, a child born into a family that abuses children, either physically or verbally, will grow with the imprint of that pain in their psyche. Unconsciously they'll then believe that there is something wrong with them and that they're not really worthy of love. The child generally finds protection mechanisms to avoid the pain and on the surface it can take many forms and seem as though they're doing ok. Although the pain never really leaves, it's always lurking in the background and comes out in anger, frustration or hurt from time to time.

The bottom line is that no matter what circumstance you're born into, we all form an identity/ego so that we can function in the world. As part of that developing ego we all have a level of fear, doubt and uncertainty as we grow and we look for reassurance from the people closest to us. We then gauge ourselves by comparing ourselves to others and we find a way to help us feel secure in that moment.

A larger percentage of people than you'd think carry the childhood fears, doubts and uncertainty into their adult life, and this creates great pain when certain events or interactions trigger that insecurity (note, I use the word "insecurity" to describe an unsafe feeling, not as a put down). These insecurities often have them feel separate and alone from the ones they love.

Having said all this, if you consider for a moment what it takes to create a human, you'll understand that each and every one of us is a miracle born with amazing abilities (that most of us take for granted of course). We have a functioning body to move around in with an amazing brain and mind that's helped our species to not only survive for millennia but also to evolve and thrive. With this understanding, given the obstacles that we have overcome to be here, we undoubtedly also have the talent or ability to resolve any issue that shows up for us.

And yet, equally with doubt, we find ourselves living in a period where most people in developed countries have more materials items and modern conveniences than in any other generation in the past and still there is disharmony. With the constant looking to the future to attain a certain goal combined with wanting everything now, it's a recipe for unhappiness!

The future is only this moment replicated with slightly different circumstances, the way you feel now is the same way you'll fee in the future. We hope that the future will be better and will give us the one thing we really want. On the other hand, if we perceive that the future is not going to be better, we get depressed and may even take drugs (either legal or illegal) to deal with it.

The key then is to find the good now so that in the future you will still have this present goodness with you.

The reality is that anything that offers you something in the future that you don't have now is simply a bandaid and doesn't address the real issue. The real issue being that we don't know who we are (at our core) and we look externally in the hope of finding it.

Until a shift is made from the external seeking to the internal finding, nothing will change for you fundamentally.

The question is, have you had enough pain to now take this journey?