Parenting College Students: Mom and Dad's Excellent Adventure Dude! By Dr. Debi Yohn At Isnare.com Ezine Articles

Parenting a college student is a skill built on understanding, adaptability and love. The most important component of course is love and respect. As a loving parent, you need to share mutual respect with your maturing young adult child.

We demonstrate respect by concentrating on what our children have to say, really listening to them and enjoying their company. Listening is an art form that many of us have abandoned, especially as parents. We listen to dribble from our friends but we often don't allow our children the same courtesy. Don't forget they like telling the stories, too, and you might learn something from just listening, instead of playing the hundred question game.

Your college student will love the attention, and will be more apt to want to spend time with you if they are relaxed and enjoying the conversation. A relationship is two sided. A relationship needs to be an enjoyable experience for both.

Parenting College Students - Less Instruction and Criticism, More Love and Camaraderie

As a parent of a college student, there is the tendency to worry about things such as binge drinking, late night parties and other potentially harmful behaviors. This is a real concern but it cannot be the subject of all conversations. The student will no longer hear your words.

I urge you to listen and choose different words than what you have been saying for years previous. They will not hear those same words they have heard time and time again. This is not particular to just college students. This is a rule in communication. If someone is not hearing you, choose different words. By this I mean different words and a different tone.

One of the main pitfalls that doom the parent-child relationship during the college years is the inability of parents to acknowledge what the student has achieved. This is due to parental concerns over their child's safety. Again, everyone responds better to positives. Don't forget to tell them everything they have done well over the past school year. Be sincere. This is not a good time for sarcasm. Kids have feelings and they have pride. You are best served to build on this.

In parenting college students, we would experience more success if we celebrated their successes and their interests. The student would want to share more time with the parent if they were not always in the "hot seat". Would you want to spend more time with someone who constantly criticized you? Of course, you wouldn't!

Parents should seize any opportunity to plan some activities to share with their college students, even if it is helping them with their laundry. Chances are good that your children want to spend more time with you if you demonstrate an appreciation of them and of their accomplishments. This really is a fun age. You are cheating yourself of an opportunity to enjoy this parenting experience if you do not take advantage of this.

Parenting College Students - Activities of Common Interest

So, what are some of these activities? Where can you start? First, parents need to show interest in the activities of their children and give them lots of opportunities to talk about what activities they are involved in and what they enjoy. Then, parents should visit the campus, particularly on occasions that are special to the student.

You might consider attending an athletic event on campus, or a concert featuring an artist of mutual interest. If your child has a particular activity that he or she enjoys, you should not hesitate to accommodate their interests. It is okay for you to expose yourself to something different. Haven't you expected them to do the same? This is what parents do! A parents' deeds will be remembered long after their words have faded. And you know what? The parent will have these memories, too.

Parenting college students, in an atmosphere of mutual respect and love, will set the ground work for a fantastic relationship in the future. Parents and their college age children begin to enjoy each other's company on a different level. Do not waste this opportunity. You will not regret it.

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