Getting What You DON'T Want

Well what did you expect?

Sometimes my mother's voice pops into my head with the most annoying questions even if they're said in the most loving way. It happened recently as I was on my hands and knees in my garden digging out, for the umpteenth time, the daisies that are on a mission to take over my garden.

Many years ago when I was a novice gardener, my mother would share her years of expertise. I suggested that daisies would be a fine addition to my new garden and she cautioned me that although pretty, daisies act very much like an invasive weed. Like an unwelcome houseguest, once they take root they don't go away easily.

I took my mother's advice for a long time. Even after she passed away, I continued to avoid the daisies. Alas there came a time a few years ago while encountering challenges with shade and drought, that an area of my garden wasn't filling in as quickly as I wanted. And so I decided to plant the dreaded daisies. I do recall my mother whispering in my ear that this was not a good choice - short term gain for long term misery - but I quickly dismissed it and made the mostly unconscious decision to invite the daisies in.

Ignoring the obvious

I didn't stop long enough and ask myself, "Given that the daisies are going to take over, is this what you really want to do?" Or remind myself that truly satisfying results sometimes take patience. Or even that the short term burst of blooms was going to come with long term consequences. Nope. I ignored the obvious and plowed ahead.

Fast forward. Guess what? The daisies are making a fine stand in trying to take over. Yes, in the past couple of years, I've made some progress. Indeed I think that the war may have actually turned in my favour. But I'm still paying the price today for that unconscious choice made earlier.

Where do you make unconscious choices?

Your life is no different than my garden. There are likely areas where you make mostly unconscious choices and then experience the consequences for months or years. And like me you probably have a loving little voice in your head that says, "Hey is this a good idea?' but you go ahead anyway. You may even have become an expert at tuning that voice out all together so that consciously choosing doesn't even show up on your radar.

The irony is you somehow expect something different. Even though you know better. You're a little surprised that you're out of breath on the stairs when you've chosen to not work out, or you're taken aback by credit card bill when you've not paid attention to your purchases. You find one day that you and your partner have nothing in common when you've spent all of your energy and time at work. Your pants no longer fit because you've not given much thought to healthy eating. When that happens you start listening to the nasty little voices that say, "How could you be so dumb?"

Getting what you don't want

It's not that you always get what you want. Sometimes you make a fully conscious decision and you don't get the results you expect. That's the nature of life. What you can count on is when you make choices without really thinking about the probable outcome, you will likely get you what you don't want.

You can decide where you want to put your time and attention. Consciously choosing or cleaning up from unconscious choices. Slow down long enough to consider the outcomes of your actions. In gardens and life, weeds are inevitable. It's just nice to not have to take care of the ones you plant yourself.