Assertiveness Can Deter Bullying and Keep it at Bay Permanently By Benedict Smythe At Isnare.com Ezine Articles

Bullying is a serious issue whether it is practiced at home, in school, or the community in general. These are the common settings for bullies but the word bullying itself is quite hard to define. Bullying can be classified under these circumstances:

•Deliberate aggression or hostility towards the victim and the aggressor feels good about doing it.

•The victim allows the aggressor to push him around, thus, further aggression might be done.

Forms of Bullying

There are many forms of bullying. This is not all about gangsters hurting the geeks at school or a muscle man asking money from people in a community. Bullying is more than physical; sometimes, it can be verbal such as in cases of name-calling, non-stop teasing, sarcasm and even spreading rumors (whether they are true or not).

Racism is also a form of bullying and many people have become victims all because of the color of their skin or their nationality. Racist acts include graffiti, taunting and gestures that are meant to offend people that are different.

A more serious form of bullying is sexual in nature. These sexual acts include abusive comments, homophobic abuse, or unwarranted physical contact.

Results of Bullying

These are the most common feelings and reactions that are done by people who are victimized by bullies:

• Low self-esteem
• Depression
• Poor performance on academics
• Isolation
• Being shy
• Attempted suicide

These emotions might vary when it comes to their degree of seriousness yet all are serious and should merit immediate attention.
Assertiveness: An Effective Ingredient

Very little can be done about a person who harasses other people but much can be made out of a person who is willing to stand up for himself and put a stop to bullying.

Assertiveness is still about respect for oneself and others (even the bully). Assertiveness is an effective behavior that will change the bully’s reaction towards the former victim. Here are some steps on how assertiveness can make the big difference:

• The first part is knowing how to say NO. Saying no means being firm about it. A former victim should know what he really wants and listen to what his mind tells him. No amount of aggression should deter him to stand for himself and be resolute. If the bully continues with his aggressive behavior, it is helpful if the victim would not show any signs of fear or nervousness.

This will signal the bully that his reign is almost done and the victim is ready to end it. An assertive person would never give in to pressure so no matter how much the bully taunts, it is better to be hurt one last time than to endure lifelong assault.

•Planning for another moment of bullying and practicing how to react would make a victim prepared and less afraid. Having a mindset on how to handle a certain situation does wonders.

•Assertiveness also means blocking (not dodging) all the insults, taunting, and all other forms of negative remarks. The assertive individual knows how to remain levelheaded despite the cutting remarks.

How Victims can Heal

Every victim should learn to forgive and deal with his inner demons. Once these negative emotions are flushed out of one’s system, the mind can truly heal and the person can move on with his life. Once he shows firmness and absolute faith in himself, no person will ever be able to touch this assertive individual.

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