They Are Telling You Who They Are: An Answer to Being Disappointed in Relationships By Suzi Elton At Isnare.com Ezine Articles

Have you ever had the experience of being mistreated by a fellow human being, causing you to become sad or depressed about it? Has someone ever lied to you or cheated you, and you have afterwards felt a general distrust of everyone you meet? Has someone deceived you, and you then had difficulty believing you could distinguish truth from untruth? Has some act of chicanery caused you to generalize this behavior to an entire population and become fearful of being "tricked" again? Has someone ever convinced you to trust them with your money, heart, property or time...and afterwards, not receiving the promised value...you stopped trusting almost everyone?

Most of us have had these experiences. They cause us to feel disheartened. We interpret it to mean negative things about ourselves, "There is something wrong with me.", "I must have been a fool.", "Why was I so stupid?", "That’s not going to happen to me again." In these cases, your self confidence, trust and self trust were just as seriously damaged as your wallet or your heart. How can you trust again? How can you regain your former feeling of confidence and trust?

One of the best and fastest ways to shift these feelings is to realize that, through their behaviors, these people were simply telling you and showing you who they are. They are showing you that they are people who are willing to lie, to be deceptive, to steal, to defraud, or whatever the offense was.

Most of us take such experiences, and make it be about us. We say things to ourselves like, "How could I have been so stupid...so blind?" or, "How could they have done that to me?" or, "What’s wrong with me that they would hurt me so?" Off we go in a downward spiral of self recrimination and suffering.

Better questions would be, "What would be wrong with someone who would treat fellow human beings in such a way?" or, "How could someone be so hateful to another person?" or, "What’s wrong with them?"

Rather than making their treatment of us be about us, realize that they are simply showing you who they are. Every time you are disappointed in your human relationships, simply realize that this person is showing their true character in their behavior. They are showing you that they are willing to be dishonest, hurtful, deceptive or whatever. This is a clear signal for you to choose no further interactions with this person. It is an immediate and simple way out of the suffering.

Their behavior has nothing to do with you except for your misfortune in interfacing with them, or, perhaps some sort of way you were not paying enough attention. Maybe you need to look at any way you are not listening to your intuition, or not heeding good advice when it is given. Frequently, there is something in our behavior that has given us these results. Be aware that our behavior is the only thing that we can change to get more satisfying future relationships.

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