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Loving Unavailable Men: A Dangerous Disorder Among Women

 
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Francis K. Githinji

Getting over a lost love is sometimes the hardest thing most of us have gone through. Sometimes it affects our love lives to great depths. This in some cases leads to some women falling in love with unavailable men. If you listen to some people who are in love frustrations, they probably were in an affair ten years ago, it did not work out but they never got over it. I even know of a girl who is still in love with a guy who got another girl's number on their first date out. There are women who have a tendency of loving unavailable men. They even love men who they are sure have girlfriends. They rarely trust their judgement where men are concerned. This is a symptom of a dangerous issue. Chasing the wrong men might appear to be the problem here but i disagree.

It is evident that youth relationships influence our dating habits when we become full grown adults. If you are still chasing and loving unavailable men, chances are that you are subconsciously trying to fix the past broken relationships. This might also be as a result of a need to establish a deep connection similar to the one you experienced ten years ago. Such men might be appearing like a missing symbol in your life. You can still heal from this disturbing love disorder. To fix this problem, begin by trying to figure out which need would provoke you to prove your worth by chasing unavailable men. List them down including your childhood disappointments: The day your loving father forgot to pick you up from Sunday school. Anything you feel that might be missing in your past or present life.

During this important exercise, come up with better ways of filling in the missing links and appreciate yourself. Once the missing delights are replaced you will be able to have healthy romantic relationship with available men. If you find out that other activities apart from dating can give you happiness, you will notice life without men can also be enjoyable. If you get preoccupied with other activities you will date when it happens with much ease. If you can go back to your most genuine love, you didn't hunt for it. You just found yourselves dating and loving every bit of it. Concentrate on other recreational activities and love will definitely find you when you least expect it. Loving unavailable men is like striving after the wind, you will never pin them down.

Self acceptance is a great ingredient to rewarding relationships. The space you set aside for healing is important since your future lover will not have a lot of work trying to raise your self-esteem. It is important to have a self-evaluation before proceeding to another relationship. Give yourself time and get your priorities right, it is better to remain single and happy instead of bearing the sorrows of loving unavailable men. It is advisable not to venture into a new relationship if you have not overcome that hangover from the previous relationship. You will end up using your previous partner as a yardstick to measure your new catch. This is an injustice as people are different and a new relationship come with a whole new experience.

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Francis K. Githinji Is A Online Dating Expert. His Latest Project http://www.tomydate.com Shows How The Power Of Online Dating Can Be Harnessed Internationally and With Great Success, Or You Could Post Your Valued Comments On His Blog At http://www.tomydate.net/?p=791.
Article Tags: love [See Dictionary], men [See Dictionary], unavailable [See Dictionary]
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Article published on March 21, 2009 at Isnare.com
 
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