The Art of Making Peace in Jewish and Zen Practice

Today we are living in a world where conflict is raging out of control and all are seeking ways of making peace, resolving conflict in the world, their families and personal relationships. The practices of both Judaism and Zen, have time tested practices which lead us to become balanced, positive and clear, no matter what is going on.

The overall purpose of Jewish practice is Tikkun Olam, healing the world. In order to do this however, individuals must start closer to home. In Jewish practice, the family is the core upon which the world is built and the home is the sanctuary. The family is the place where we are taught to share, love, and grow into the person we are meant to be. The family is also a place where we are challenged and confronted with intense, often conflicted emotional relationships. In order for us to have good relationships in the world at large, it is crucial to learn how to be at peace with our family. This is probably the most difficult challenge of all.

Jewish Practice teaches us that difficult family relationships are not a matter of chance. Family members are given to one another as teachers, to learn grow, be able to correct past errors and develop new parts of ourselves. Whether or not you like a family member, the bond goes deep. Overlooking the difficulties and needs of your brothers or sisters is considered a grave mistake. The way you treat your brothers and sisters is a training ground for your relationship with the whole world. Jewish practice offers various mitzvot, actions to take and to refrain from taking which serve to create healing and peace in the family and the world.

A foundational mitzvot is, “You are your brother’s keeper. Take good care of him.” No matter what differences exist, put your brother’s and sister’s needs above your own. Deeds of kindness are needed, no matter how you feel. Share, listen, go out of your way, put your selfishness aside. When you learn to make peace with your family, then all other relationships can flourish and grow.

In Zen practice the students with whom we practice are called the sangha. In this spiritual family, we also experience and work through our deepest needs and vulnerabilities. The practice of sangha is to offer unconditional acceptance, encouragement, and sanctuary to one another. The sangha comes from all walks of life, all races, religions, conditions, and educational backgrounds. As you practice together, you forge a profound, timeless bond and after years experience a deep sense of oneness, wherever you go, you are all one.

Of course, as in the family, problems arise in the sangha as well. These problems are fuel for practice and an aid to growth. The Buddha gave a great teaching for dealing with problems in the sangha, family, and world at large: “Do not look at the faults of others. Look at your own deeds, done and undone.”

Zen practice focuses upon first healing the war within. When you wish to create true and lasting peace, do not focus on fixing or changing others, or casting blame. Instead, take total responsibility for your part in what is happening and look within. The only one you can change is yourself. Zen teaches that correcting yourself is the best way to alter a difficult situation.

The modern-day Zen master Thich Nat Hahn describes this beautifully: “Although we cannot cover the entire world with peace, we can cover our own feet and, one step at a time, walk along, bringing peace with us.”
Zen practice reminds us that if you try to fix a troubled world while you yourself are filled with anger and confusion, you are of little value. Your ultimate contribution is who you are. First sit down on the cushion and face yourself. When you are ready, you can bring true ease of heart wherever you go.
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