Looking Death in the Face

Have you every thought what your feelings would be if you found yourself in a life and death situation and saw somebody shot to death before your eyes?

Would you freeze and be transfixed to the spot? Would the whole scene flash before your eyes? Or would you see this horror as if in slow motion? What does it feel like to lift up a lifeless body? What does it feel like to see a human being’s life ebbing away, with blood oozing from a wound?

In Bear Any Burden, I tried to imagine these feelings as these traumatic events unfolded.

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The officer, clearly surprised that Keller had spoken in Polish, turned his gun towards him.

Alex, looked on in horror. His shoulder was throbbing. Was it the cold or just tension? He turned to Anna, thinking she would respond. But then, Anna pulled out her pistol with silencer attached, from inside her overcoat, and shot the officer in the chest. The shot made a "plop" noise. He crumpled into the snow and didn't move. Blood from the wound started to stain the snow. Alex was completely transfixed.Christ, he thought. What the hell's going on!

The Kellers had wide-eyed looks of terror on their faces. Suddenly Alex was aware that the other soldier was taking his Kalashnikov off his shoulder and pointing it in Anna's direction. As if in slow motion, he instinctively sprang forward, trying to grab the barrel of the rifle. At the same time, Keller lunged at the officer's back and had his arms around his neck. The weight of Keller's assault pushed the soldier towards the ground. A shot went off, and the bullet whizzed by Alex's shoulder as he fell in the snow, with the wind knocked out of him. He saw Keller had his left hand on the soldier's left side of his face, and his right arm round the front and back of his head. There was a muffled crack as Keller twisted the soldier's head forcefully, as he fell to the ground in a heap. But as they both started to pick themselves up, Alex saw a look of complete horror on Keller's face.

He looked to his right, to see Krystyna Keller lying face down, shot by the stray bullet, in her right temple. A small trickle of blood was oozing into the snow.

"Oh, my God, oh my God," said Keller, as he jumped to his feet. "Krysta! Krysta!" They all ran over to her, but Alex instantly recognized that she was dead. Keller dropped to his knees, by his wife. Anna was standing over her, with her pistol at her side. She looked at Alex, her eyes glazed and unseeing, as she started to shake from the shock of what she had done. Alex was just as traumatized, looking from Anna to Keller to the two dead soldiers in the snow, and for a moment or two, totally paralyzed. Keller started sobbing uncontrollably. Alex leaned down and gently said, "Come on Professor. There's nothing we can do."

Anna, still shaking, at last found her voice. "I'm so sorry… I had to shoot," she said, defensively, with tears rolling down her cheeks.

Keller wasn't listening. He was sobbing, and holding Krystyna's body to his. After a moment or two, Alex took Keller gently by the arm, helped him up and led him back to the car.

"No, no, no," said Keller. "No, I can't leave her.”"

"I'm sorry, Professor," Alex responded, slowly recovering from the trauma. "But there’s nothing to be done here. If we are to save our lives, we've got to get away immediately."

He left Keller sobbing in the car while he returned to Anna. Three bodies lay on the ground.

Alex looked around, his head starting to clear. "We need to get the bodies behind that structure, and cover them with snow," he said to Anna, who nodded. "C'mon, give me a hand," Alex continued. They picked up the officer first. They both staggered under the weight of the lifeless body. Alex noted that the officer's hands were still warm, and his dead eyes seemed to be staring right at him.

Fortunately, I've never had death stare me in the face, nor have I ever seen somebody shot and killed before my very eyes. It would be interesting to know how near to the truth is my description of these events.