Is Your Home Marriage-Centered? By Lynn Powers At Isnare.com Ezine Articles

They don’t do it intentionally. And you don’t intentionally allow them to. It just happens. Kids tend to sap the life out of marriage. And I mean that in the nicest way.

Think about it for a moment. Before you had kids, you and your spouse probably went out all the time. Because it was just the two of you, you had plenty of one-on-one time, made love frequently, and regularly got away on weekend trips or extended vacations. You carried on lengthy conversations without being interrupted. You ate dinner together. You watched television together. Your focus was solely on each other.

Then you had kids. And everything changed.

Your one-on-one time immediately ceased. Your getaways and vacations consist of the zoo, a local amusement park or Disney – with the kids. You can’t get more than three words out before someone calling, “Mom!” and your lovemaking has been reduced to, well…when was the last time, again? Dinners are noisy. You end up in front of separate televisions to watch different programs. By the time you finally get the kids to bed, the only thing you’re focused on is collapsing in your own bed. To sleep!

Kids don’t simply demand attention, they need it. Children are a gift, given to you by God to care for, love, provide for and train up to become Godly adults. But God never intended those precious children to take the place of your marriage – only to enhance it. But in today’s society, our homes tend to revolve around the kids. And the marriage is tossed aside.

After God, our next priority should be our spouse. Kids come third, followed by work and other activities. When you follow this order, your marriage, and ultimately your family, will be blessed. Keep in mind that you fell in love with each other before you had children. It’s in your best interest to maintain a healthy marriage so that when the children leave home, you won’t find yourself living with a stranger.

Teach your children at a young age that “Mom and Dad Alone Time” is a priority. An added bonus is that when your kids see you making a habit of regularly getting away together or spending a few minutes chatting over coffee every evening, it sets an example for them to follow as they begin the process of dating and choosing a spouse. And also, their security and confidence will blossom as they are assured of their parents love for each other and recognize their commitment.

If your children are already used to being the center of your home, it’s not too late to make some changes! It will probably be difficult as you set out to prioritize your marriage and set new boundaries for your kids. There may be tears shed as you leave for a weekend away or for a simple “date night.” Your kids might not like the fact that you admonish them about interrupting when you’re trying to carry on a conversation with your spouse. Despite your kids’ protests at the time, they’ll no doubt respect you for it later.

Kids are a blessing. But if your marriage is suffering because it’s been replaced by the demands of your children, make a decision to turn it around. The best gift you can give your children is a healthy marriage.

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