Either You Have It Or You Don't

Sometimes things work exactly the way you want them to. Sometimes, I have trouble remembering when that has happened for me but I’m sure it has at least once in my life. But that is the point I make. We don’t really remember the times when every thing falls into place just perfectly. Why is that?

Maybe it is because we work so hard to have complete control over our lives in every last aspect and every nook and cranny, that we are surprised with the “unexpected”. When really, the unexpected should be just the opposite, expected. What we most often focus on is when the unexpected is less than positive. Usually, it is a kick in the shin or a slug in the gut that takes the wind out of us. But when the unexpected is something that is positive, it is “surprising” to us and we call it inspirational.

I submit that many times most anything is inspirational if we choose to look at it with the right attitude. That is, without anger, blame and with faith we can learn a lot from the unexpected. Take, for example, the following story.

Bernard Castro immigrated to New York City from Sicily while in his teens. One night it was snowing with the kind of cold that chilled to the bone. He was signed up for a night class at DeWitt Clinton High School to learn English. From his cheap room on the East side he watched the snow come down until it was a foot deep and traffic was stopped. The wind was howling and he did not want to go all the way over to the West Side to the class because he didn’t have any money and he would be walking the entire way.

He was exhausted from working all day as an upholsterer and knew his coat would be no match for the cold wind and his shoes too thin to keep the freezing wet snow from turning his feet to ice. As he stood looking at the weather outside his window, he remembered something he had read in the newspaper a few days before. A columnist had said that the difference between success and failure was often the simple willingness to make the extra effort, go the extra mile and endure the extra hardship. Either you had this quality or you didn’t.

Slowly he pulled on his thin coat and put a scarf around his neck and made his way into the night. Block after block, hands and feet growing numb, until finally he came to the high school entrance. It was locked. A custodian looked out at him, “Are you crazy? No one is going to come out on a night like this! The school is closed!” Then he shut the door.

How many of us would have made the trip in the first place? Very, very few, for sure. But, even if we had, how many of us would have cursed the closed door, the custodian, the snow, the wind, the day, the circumstance? How many would have used this scene to reinforce that things never work out for us, that “you can’t win for losing”?

Now he had to turn around and retrace his steps. As the wind whipped around him and the snow continued to fall he came to a realization. Out of two thousand students, he was the only one to make his way through the night and these awful conditions to show up for class. He was the only one that did what it took to go the extra mile, to show the extra effort, to reach deep inside when every fiber of his being wanted to quit, and to keep going when all others didn’t.

At that precise moment he knew he had what it takes to succeed. From that moment, which he chose to view with extraordinary perspective, he knew the will that had pushed him across New York City on that cold and miserable night would sustain him. He never forgot that moment or that night.

This happened many, many years ago and Bernard Castro worked his way through the Great Depression and opened his own business. Which was quite an achievement in itself. What is remarkable about him is that his ability to see the hidden value and potential around him resulted in a discovery made many years later that changed his life forever.

His upholstery business grew into an interior design business and then into making furniture. One day he watched as a bunk on a friend’s cabin cruiser was folded up and converted into a seat. He had an idea. He designed the Castro convertible sofa bed which was slimmer and more attractive than the design of the day. It made him famous and wealthy.

However, he became a success a long time before, that one night on the icy cold streets of New York City.