Theme Cruises - Don't Even Think About Taking That Cruise!

It seems everyone knows someone who's absolutely certain. You've heard them say it before: "I'LL NEVER TAKE A CRUISE." Those of us who've been on a cruise know what they're missing. But don't bother trying to change their mind. Just point them to this article and have them read why I agree with them.

TWELVE REASONS WHY YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT TAKING THAT CRUISE!

1. Wouldn't want you to be forced to eat whatever you want, whenever you want or take away the pleasure of grocery shopping, cooking and cleaning.

2. Easy to get bored when you're not interested in shopping, poolside service, gambling, ice skating, rock climbing, golf, wine tasting, theme workshops, movies, Broadway-style shows, chocolate buffets and all the other boring stuff on cruise ships.

3. Not into rejuvenating your body with facials, spa treatments, couples massages, whirlpools, decadent rose petal and chocolate therapy, hairstyling, relaxing hand and foot treatments. You can wash your own hair and do your own nails.

4. Might get dizzy from too many decisions like choosing filet mignon in a specialty restaurant or lobster in the dining room...the lounge for a quiet drink or the main showroom for comedy...a facial in the spa or a book on the balcony...blackjack in the casino or a game in the sports bar...

5. Don't want to deny you the pleasure of peeling off those wads of cash every time you eat, order a beverage, get advice from the concierge, get assistance from the bell desk. Might get a cramp from signing for your shipboard purchases instead of paying for every expense individually.

6. Wouldn't want to take away the pleasure of packing, unpacking and collecting all those cool soaps from your favorite roadside motel.

7. Could be too stressful deciding which worldwide destination to cruise including the Caribbean, Mediterranean, Europe, Asia, Alaska, South America...

8. Easier to keep track of the kids when they're under foot all the time like they are during a road trip. Who needs kids clubs!

9. Avoid headaches you might get when you're forced to pick between blackjack, craps, slot machines, sports bars, bingo, poker or other adult entertainment aboard a floating, luxury Vegas-style atmosphere.

10. Don't want you to feel claustrophobic on a ship that holds 25-hundred passengers, weighs an average of 90,000 tons, is several football fields in length, thousands of square feet in size and several stories tall.

11. Housekeeping and room service are completely overrated. Who needs someone in your room two to three times a day straightening your bed, freshening the bathroom, leaving chocolate on your pillow and forcing everyone to laugh at those silly towel animals.

12. With the captain in charge, wouldn't want to deprive you of that family tradition of arguing over directions!

Take a cruise? Who needs all that luxury and pampering, entertainment and adventure, relaxation and romance. You're absolutely right. Please, under any circumstances, don't take a cruise. What were we thinking!