Maturity -- What a Concept! By Suzi Elton At Isnare.com Ezine Articles

When you hear the word "maturity" what comes to mind? Do you think it means old and boring? Does it sound like someone who doesn’t have any fun? Do you imagine that maturity is something to be avoided at all costs? Do you equate maturity with responsibility and consider that a reason to run? Do you think it means being crotchety and disapproving? Does maturity make you remember a bunch of old people sitting around doing nothing and you find the concept abhorrent? Here are some other ideas about what maturity might mean.

1.) Maturity might mean having wisdom to share. This does not mean being a busybody and sticking your nose in other people’s business. It does not mean giving unwanted "advice". It does not mean manipulatively giving your opinion so as to get your own way.

Wisdom is about sharing life experience in such a way that others (who desire the information) can make life affirming and ultimately more satisfying choices for their own lives. Perhaps you have learned how to have more satisfying relationships or how to have rewarding marital relationships or how to communicate effectively. Great wisdom is about how to be more effective in life, how to end up happier and how to most enjoy living. Think of maturity as having wisdom to share. How are you wise?

2.) The mature person is not reactive. With maturity you learn to see situations from a higher perspective. You take the anger out of your potential responses and stop imagining that others are out to do you harm. You take responsibility for your reactions and give up looking for reasons and excuses to be angry at things, people and the past. You pay attention to situations and take action in advance so you don’t end up feeling victimized.

Rather than characterizing others as "mean" -- you look to understand the pain they are driven by. You take responsibility for the kinds of people you allow in your life so that you have gratifying human interactions. Associating with those who talk about mistreating others is an invitation to allow your own mistreatment.

3.) Maturity means to expect the best of yourself and others. Releasing mediocre product and underperformance is a sign that you’re developing maturity in your own life and work.

4.) Maturity is about accepting 100% responsibility for your life, your results, your happiness, and your interactions with others. As dependent children, there is potential for being victimized. When we behave mature, we allow our own victimization to become a thing of the past. We quickly see how we "dropped the ball" of responsibility and use it as a lesson for the future. Maturity creates the mental construct that we cannot be victimized.

5.) Maturity also means choosing to see the world through eyes of love. This means you choose not to take things "personally". Maturity understands that those in pain hurt everyone -- if they hurt you -- it is not personal to you. That is the way they treat everyone. Maturity understands that it is our responsibility to recognize those in pain and not to invite or allow our own targeting. Maturity does not make the other person "wrong". Maturity simply recognizes what is, without distortion or romanticizing. Maturity takes appropriate precautionary action, rather than blindly plunging in pretending not to see.

6.) Maturity recognizes that self is not the center of the universe. Many of us go far into adulthood still believing that the world revolves around us. Here are some ways to recognize maturity in this context. The mature person realizes that the behavior of others tells us about THEM -- not about us. The mature person does not take on the anger of others and feel ashamed. The mature person allows others to have their own feelings. The mature person has given up manipulation, and only seeks willing cooperation from others.

Maturity means many positive and exciting things. It’s about living life fully in charge. It’s about giving up self victimization in all its forms. It’s about seeing the Big Picture in life. It’s about giving up games and playing like a pro. It’s about seeing what is actually going on in life and no longer colluding with fooling yourself. Maturity is a joyous and free position to play life from.

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