Persuade With Power

Mick Jagger said, “You can't always get what you want.” But it doesn't stop us from trying…and it shouldn't. Yet what about those times when we're less effective at communicating our wants and getting our reward. That can be frustrating when we try to put ideas across and wonder why others don't seem to share our enthusiasm or interest. For personal to business communications here are a few simple concepts important to maximize your power of persuasion.

First, keep in mind the two fundamental human desires: to make a contribution or difference and to be received or “gotten” by others. Communication is a two-way street. We have to assist others to hear us when the time is best, digest our proposals and respond positively. When we don't get a definite, “Now's not a good time,” then it's also knowing how to let go and move on.

1. Research is the first step in persuading others. You can't even interest someone in going to see a movie with you if you don't know the name of the movie, where it's playing or the time. Do your homework before you approach your invitee.

2. Timing Always check if the timing for the conversation is right and you have their attention. Never assume you can walk in a room and start talking. Offer short friendly comments first, whether by email, phone or in-person. No one wants to feel disrespected by jumping into business topics without a few relationship-centered words exchanged first.

3. Clarity is the important third step in how you maximize the opportunity and explain the idea or plan. Practice your invitation beforehand to yourself, or with someone else. Know the most important parts to be communicated.

4. Encouragement creates interest or acceptance of your view and empowers others to action. It is not meant to persuade through convincing, cajoling or dominating. It is not meant to cause someone to undertake an action or embrace your point of view by means of argument, reasoning or entreaty. Encouragement stimulates support and inspires action.

5. Listening is a component of encouragement. Stop to hear the feedback from the person you're talking with. Reflect on their comments, without judgment, before any additional response. Perhaps they have an aspect to the proposal you hadn't considered. In true listening, you weigh their responses as much as you expect them to weigh yours. Sometimes literally repeat their comments back to them so they know they've been heard. Use comfortable body language to demonstrate your listening, without making them feel rushed.

6. Unattachment Of all the tools, this is your biggest power source. Have a clear intention and commitment to your idea or project, but be ready to let go, so you can change course if needed.

7. Alternation If your initial offer is declined, then you can counteroffer. If that fails, you can be prepared with a new idea in the wings. For example, you pitch a program that your prospective client isn't interested in, you then offer an alternative program idea and get a similar “no” response. Since you've prepared ahead, you can now shift your attention to another project and possibly revisit the first idea at a later date.

Follow these winning strategies in persuading others and you'll notice the results will be more frequent, more rewarding and repeatable.