Be Strong and Ask for Help By Lynn Hull And Julie Molner At Isnare.com Ezine Articles

How often have you seen someone physically struggling with a task and yet reluctant to seek help? And how often have you sensed that someone is experiencing emotional stress and anxiety and yet does not speak up and ask for help?

And it’s no wonder. The way our society operates, we are led to believe that:

- we have a limited supply of requests for help
- each request has to be repaid — repaid promptly and repaid directly to the person providing the help
- asking for help is a sign of weakness
- our request for help would be an imposition on another

We go even further with the false belief that we ‘know’ what the other person is thinking and conclude that she/he doesn’t want to be asked, or will feel uncomfortable if we ask. If we’ve received help from this other person in the past, then we are even more adamant that we cannot request their help ‘again’. When thinking in this way, we are actually attempting to take away the other person’s responsibility and choice. This is a waste of energy for we truly can never know what another is thinking…we can never be in their shoes.

If we want others to see us as the ‘real’ person we are – ‘naturally creative, resourceful and whole’ - then we must learn to see others in this way as well. They are perfectly capable of deciding for themselves if they are willing to help or not. Allow them the opportunity to make their own choices about providing help.

But then we encounter another common reason why people do not ask for help – the fear of rejection. If you are prepared to ask for help, then you must be prepared for the other party to refuse. The key is in knowing that this is simply a refusal to give the help you need, and usually for good reasons. It is not a personal rejection of you. And, sometimes when all help is refused, it’s the Universe’s way of showing you that this is something you need to do alone.

So where does the notion come from that asking for help is a weakness? Presumably there is an assumption that if you are in need of help, then you must be deficient in some way – and that in itself is a weakness. It could also be posited on a rather arrogant assumption that we are indeed self-sufficient islands with no need of anyone’s help. Neither of these suppositions feels particularly good nor are they accurate because asking for help is an indication of strength. Yes, strength! When you recognize and accept that you are up against something you cannot do alone, you are dealing with reality and are showing your strength and courage.

From this positive perspective, there are lots of benefits to asking for help. So often people are reticent about offering their help for the very same reason that people are reluctant to ask .. . they may be rejected, they may feel obligated, they may be given help back which might feel like an intrusion. These are all stories made up by the ego mind that prevent us from asking.

Someone, somewhere has to break the cycle! So, if you do not usually ask for help – find your strength today by asking for help, and give someone the opportunity to give. You will be in good company too. Remember that all successful people have a staff of experts helping them – they never go it alone!

Published At: Isnare Free Articles Directory http://www.isnare.com
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