Sprucing Up Your Married Life on Shoestring Resources

According to a survey, a growing number of people are searching for marriage advice on the internet, based on the reports of search engines. It’s no surprise really, when recession is at its peak, job uncertainty and layoff is at its highest, inflation rises constantly, the demands for today’s environment necessitates constantly keeping abreast of technological advances in any market for both businessmen and job seekers alike, amongst a zillion other factors. At the same time, infidelity and extra marital affairs are growing at an exponential rate especially among co-workers. In such times, how does one manage to keep up the spice in his/her marriage by investing time, energy, money, creativity, and other resources? Or should he manage to make his spouse try and understand him every time?

First of all, let me make this clear – it is certainly possible to spare a bit of your time /resources for your spouse, no matter how busy you are, or how many deadlines you have to meet, or whatever your mental, physical and financial condition is. If you cannot accept this fact, none of the tips I give you (or the ones you find elsewhere) will do you any good. I can actually prove this to you right now – how much time, energy and money do you spend in thinking up of excuses, fighting with your spouse over trivial matter, surfing uselessly on the internet, watching crap on the idiotbox, and spending money on products / services you don’t really need? (Try keeping a record for just one month, you will be surprised). Can not you utilize this time, energy and money for your beloved, for someone with whom you’ve spoken your marriage vows, for someone with whom you decided to spend the rest of your living life? Now if you’re really serious in leading a happy married life, I’ve written a few tips below that will give you maximum ROI in today’s hectic times, so to speak! But before I begin, you need to understand that work time and family time don’t mix, you need to separate them. While it’s OK to share your experience about your day with your spouse, it is not OK to continue your work throughout your family time. If you work entirely out from your home or you have deadlines and need to bring some of the work, home; set a specific time when you plan to complete it and inform it to your spouse. And when the time comes for it to get over, you better quit!

Below are some tips to spruce up your marriage:

1. Spending quality time together is a great way to enhance your marriage, especially doing something of common interest. Watching movies together cuddled on the patio, dining out, going to parties, gardening, cooking, going to the gym, eating together, going for a weekend getaway, going for a walk, etc are just some of the things you can do together, which you would anyway be doing it. If both of you like to do charity, you can go together and shop for whatever it is you would like to donate. For example, cribs, baby clothes and toys for synergy houses and orphanages, trees / plants for a nearby park, preparing food packets and giving it to the poor, etc. Besides the good that it does, charity also boosts your self respect.

Warning: While spending time together is good for you, so is giving each other space. Encourage each other to take time apart and do the things that they love to, without interfering. A “singles” night out is all right at times. Have trust in your spouse – don’t be suspicious and drill them on details.

2. Surprise your spouse with little low cost gifts that are creative and show that you really think of and care for them. Gifting a flower without any occasion (just creatively say “for being my best friend and life partner”), surprise tickets to a concert, getting up a little early and serving breakfast in bed, saying “I love you, sweetheart” just out of the blue and at a time when your spouse least expected it, offering to give a massage, doing one of their errands without being told, flirt with your spouse in a public place (especially if you don’t generally do it), giving compliments, just once leave the toilet seat up (or down whichever is the opposite of your habit), stealing a kiss, making a greeting card and sending it to his office (or to her at home), gifting a personalized item like a porcelain cup with your mate’s name, etc are some ideas; put on your thinking cap and get creative! Write a love letter and put it in unexpected places. If your spouse travels to work, put it in his CD case, or stick an “I love you” note on the mirror before you go to sleep, so your spouse sees it in the morning and smiles!

3. Keep a memory box and fill it with photograph albums, a sexy dress that you no longer wear (but was gifted by your spouse), old movie and concert tickets, old love letters, birthday cards and anniversary cards, travel brochures of places you have visited and enjoyed, etc. You can open the box once in a while and reminisce about each of them, bring the memories alive!

4. Once in a while, go shopping alone and buy a bunch of things just for your mate. Be careful in what you buy; you don’t want to waste a lot of money in things that will never be used. For example, buy a watch for her that has changeable color rings to match her clothes, colorful buckles and hair bands, etc; a travel shaving kit for him, or maybe a box of beers. Buy something “especially for him / her”, not to be used by you at all.

OK friends, I’ll take a break here; look out for my next article “dos and don’ts to lead a happy and healthy married life”. You will find it at http://www.bharatbhasha.com/family.php/107297