What Causes Problems In A Relationship Or Marriage? By Delissa Huapi At Isnare.com Ezine Articles

At the outset of most relationships, sex is one of the major building blocks. It is something that is eagerly anticipated and relished. However, as time goes on, that initial shine may wear off, and partners can take each other for granted.

There is also the phenomenon of "coming out" when someone announces that their sexual tastes have changed, or their hitherto latent desires and leanings realize themselves, and their partners become no longer sexually attractive. This is normally a dead end road for any relationship.

- Alcoholism or drug abuse is one of the nastiest things that can happen to any relationship. They take over everything else and become the third member of the relationship, and often the more needed third member. The result is the forcing out of the other partner.

Why do these particularly abhorrent habits happen? Usually they fill a void that has become manifest within the relationship or, in their outside world, a form of escapism from somewhere the victim no longer wants to be, but once hooked, there's an impossibility to break away from without skilled outside help.

- Having an affair. A so-called "affair" doesn’t necessarily have to be sexual - it could also be platonic, or online relationships, or even cyber sex. If it ruins the implicit trust and intimacy that must exist in any normal relationship or marriage, it is enough. Once this trust has been breached, it is an enormous task to rebuild it, and very frequently, will foretell the eventual crumbling of the relationship.

- Violence against another person is a crime. Not only in the eyes of the law, but also morally in any relationship. Whether it is sparked by jealousy (in itself a hateful emotion) or envy, or simply trying to assert ones authority, it will have a disastrous effect on any relationship.

Remember, it can happen both ways. Not just man on woman, but woman on man. Either way, it is like living with a time-bomb simply waiting for it to explode.

- Jealousy is one of the ugliest of emotions. In its worst form it can be totally claustrophobic and will usually, more often than not, end up in causing the very thing it tries to avoid…. the breaking up of the relationship.

Jealousy is usually caused by a lack of trust in ones partner or can cover a feeling of inadequacy in the relationship.

There are a great many problems that can arise today to bring stress into any relationship. But often these problems are allowed to grow because of a lack of communication. Most problems are tiny at the outset. But remember what they say: “Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill”.

With good communication between partners, these tiny problems (molehills) can be brought into the open and discussed before they become mountains. There is another saying that "a problem shared is a problem halved". Discuss, discuss, discuss, and if all else fails…... don't delay…bring in outside help.

If left undisclosed and untreated, the problem will get worse and may cause the break up of the relationship.

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