Madonna And The Truth About Seduction

Madonna’s divorced again. I’m not sure anyone is surprised, except at how sad she was about the split. Of course, we all feel bad for her children and poor involuntarily celibate Guy Ritchie. But let’s face it: it’s hard to keep a husband when your entire career and personality are built around a very dominant second chakra—the energetic home base of sexuality. Overt sexuality is the theme of the bulk of Madonna’s work. From her Playboy and Penthouse layouts in the Seventies to her book, named simply Sex, from her lace tops, fishnet stockings, and conical bras to her onstage simulated masturbation, to the disturbing W Magazine layout desecrating the image of the horse, Madonna has no problem putting the Sticky and Sweet (as her latest tour is called) all out there.

While many see this as Madonna’s style as an entertainer, to me her behavior indicates that she is in need of major healing and balance in her life. Despite her attempts to promote the image of “Momma Madonna,” loving wife and mother, the restlessness and confusion that accompany an imbalance in the sexual energy center have always been painfully apparent. In cases like this, divorce is frequently inevitable. Looking at the body language of Madonna and Ritchie together, it was always clear that while he looked massively uncomfortable, she was delighted to be in the spotlight, seducing those around her in whatever way possible.

Madonna has been the one who controlled every aspect of their family’s life, from what they ate, to who could visit their home, to their religious beliefs, and she tried to keep that control as she and Ritchie headed to divorce. Details of the terms of the split were not made public. However, it was reported by the British media that Madonna was able to hold on to her nearly half-billion-dollar fortune because Ritchie didn’t seek alimony. Now that a “quickie divorce” has been granted, she plans to take the three kids and move to New York, leaving Ritchie in London to miss his children and wonder what happened to the woman he fell in love with in 1998. Madonna’s going to be in for a surprise when she discovers that ripping off Ritchie of his share of the estate and his children isn’t going to give her the feeling of control that she craves.

Women who lead with their second chakra, consciously or unconsciously, believe that their sexual availability is the key to male approval and attention. They didn’t just pick this out of the air. They have learned this control mechanism, usually by way of traumatic life experiences that involve a male authority figure. I know this from my own experience. These women tend to believe that this is the only thing they have to offer, and they feel powerful with the weapon of sexuality at their disposal. Once they begin to feel that they’re losing power, however, because of age (look at how terrified Madonna is about turning 50) or simply because their husbands or boyfriends have gotten bored with their drama, they become unhappy and feel the need to shake things up.

Madonna couldn’t handle Ritchie’s need to be an individual, and he was so angered at being controlled by her that he resorted to telling her she looked “old and fat.” No woman can handle that, and especially not Madonna! She hopes that dumping Ritchie, stripping him of assets and time with their kids and switching to someone like A-Rod, the 33-year-old baseball star, Alex Rodriguez, will put her and her sexuality firmly back in the driver’s seat. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work that way; it seems that it may be time for Madonna to face her own personal demons.

Like most women who use seduction as a way to feel good about themselves, Madonna doesn’t realize that she is acting out from old emotional wounds. Chances are, like most women who lead with their second chakra, Madonna was taught early in life that the main way she could gain power was through her sexual appeal. Many of us learned that lesson from an early male caregiver (in my case, my father). Madonna will ultimately need to acknowledge that she has an imbalance, and second, understand that she also has the innate ability to resolve and heal it.

I wouldn’t want to take any bets on Madonna coming to this realization anytime soon. But if you find yourself using seduction to get what you want, take a close look at the dynamic and what it can tell you about yourself. Once you are aware that you’re gaining power through seduction, you can begin the process of healing from it. There are many resources available to help you with the process and you’ll love yourself all the more when you no longer feel the need to seduce!

(Originally published at Article Dashboard and reprinted with permission from the author, Deborah King).