Just Stop!

Do you recall the last time you just stopped? A temporary slowing down doesn’t count. When did you last stop everything? Pausing doesn’t count either. Only a complete halt counts as stopping. Do you even remember how to stop?

Falling into bed after another long and exhausting day doesn’t qualify as stopping either. That kind of stopping is physically necessary. It is related to the daily mandatory event of sleeping.

True stopping has no connection to any other task or daily event. True stopping is not just a physical stopping of movement, but also a mental stopping of thought. Are you able to just be?

You may say that you do stop. You stop to read a magazine or a book. You stop to read a story to your children. You stop to sit down and eat a meal. These events however, also do not fall into the category of true stopping. True stopping is stopping to do nothing, absolutely nothing at all.

We rush from one task to the next, always feeling like we will never get caught up. Many of us are also guilty of not giving ourselves the gift of stopping until all tasks are complete. Guess what? Life is a series of tasks and events and you will never get everything done on your list, because everyday there will be another list! Now, some of you may be panicked by the thought that you will never get everything done. You may be thinking that if you never get everything done, and you never get caught up, you will never get to relax. If you continue to choose to approach life with this thinking, then it is true that you will never get to relax.

Why not choose to approach life differently? Maybe you could choose to set aside 15 minutes twice a day to just stop. If that sounds impossible to you, maybe you could start with 15 minutes once a day. When we are in a constant state of mental and physical motion we never rejuvenate. When we don’t allow ourselves to rejuvenate we are placing a great deal of stress on our minds and bodies. The more stress we place on ourselves, the less effective we will be in completing the tasks of daily living, and as a result we will become even more stressed and exhausted.

Stopping is really rather easy once you learn how to do it. It may take some practice if you haven’t stopped in a very long time. Relaxing your body and calming the mind will help you to approach life in a manner that will be much more fulfilling.

Start by choosing a time or times each day when you will practice stopping. You may initially see this as another task on your daily list, but it won’t take long before you begin to look forward to this daily ritual.

Here are the steps to follow:

• Find as quiet a place as possible, where you won’t be disturbed. Don’t worry if your place is not perfectly quiet though. It is not realistic to believe that you will always have complete silence.
• Sit in a position that is comfortable to you. Close your eyes.

• Begin by paying attention to your breathing. Take several long, slow and deep breaths. Notice how, with each exhalation, your body becomes more relaxed and peaceful.

• Feel your feet relaxing, your legs, and then your hips. Feel that wave of relaxation moving up your body slowly, releasing any tension and just letting go. When you breathe in, imagine the breath going to the area you are focusing on, and feel the breath relaxing the muscle. As you breathe out, the tension is released through the breath. Continue up your body, feeling every muscle relaxing with every exhalation. Feel the muscles in your face relaxing, the muscles around your eyes releasing tension, and your jaw relaxing. Feel yourself letting go.

• Once your body is relaxed, allow your mind to become quiet. It is natural that you will have thoughts enter your mind. Notice and acknowledge your thoughts without judging them. You may imagine these thoughts as being enclosed in bubbles. You can simply observe the bubbles without judgment. Just watch the bubbles float past your mind’s eye.

• Have a passive attitude. Don’t worry about doing this practice correctly. Just accept whatever happens during this time of stopping.

• If at first 15 minutes feels too long for this practice, try it for only 5 or 10 minutes, or for whatever length of time feels comfortable to you. When you decide it is time to open your eyes, open them, but allow yourself to sit comfortably for a minute or two and enjoy the relaxed and refreshed state you are feeling.

Don’t think of stopping as selfish. It will definitely be a benefit to you, but it will also be a benefit to everyone in your life. By taking care of yourself you will be better able to take care of your children, have meaningful relationships with family and friends, and live a more enriching and fulfilling life. Start creating a better life, by just stopping.