Trusting During Times of Adversity: Working Through the Disappointing Setbacks

Trust can be construed as one of the greatest of all assets. Its presence signifies an ability to move forward in life rather than be in contention with it.

Whatever we hold in our mind instantly takes on energetic form and thus manifests into physical form. When we distrust ourselves and those around us, we energetically set ourselves up for disappointment. When we trust, we feel at ease and at peace even in the face of adversity. Many of us, however, have been challenged by circumstantial setbacks, sometimes of such immense magnitude in our lives that we wonder if there will be another day worth working for. I, for one, have found myself disheartened to the point of being immobilized and questioning each and every decision I had once so calmly made.

Shouting “Why me?” at our Creator

When we meet with setbacks and disappointments in our lives, it’s easy to become discouraged and distrusting of ourselves and others. I experienced having a friend renege on several long-standing and very pivotal business agreements that cost me not only tens of thousands of dollars in income and countless hours of lost time, it also cost the trust and friendships of other business partners as well. What ensued was a collapse of many of the business models and relationships that had taken years to build. Things went over like dominoes, in a sense, one agreement, relationship or friendship, hinging on another.

Was I angry? Of course.

Dealing with Disappointment

I was thus faced with rebuilding my business and reinventing who I was when all my financial reserves were literally and completely gone. My once perfect credit had vanished and my credit lines were cancelled. People that I put first, ahead of my own well being, people I thought would stand by me through thick and thin, quickly and quietly disappeared. My family of origin, including a sister who had come into a sizeable inheritance through a man she married decided that I was the pariah and ceased contact, holding me personally responsible when, in fact, I was doing the very best I could to remedy the situation. My husband, though he insisted otherwise, inwardly blamed me for much of what happened. He would be up for less than an hour in the morning before the dry heaves would begin, and he shut down emotionally to the point that he required medication to get through each day.

Virtually everything we had worked for had been devastated: our business, our finances, our home, and our health. It was a “horrific train wreck of an accident without the blood and guts” according to one of the attorneys involved.

Beginning Again: Polarities

The only way out of a situation, quite often, is to simply go through that situation. Yet, as saddened and disappointed as I was in my circumstances, I decided that every day above the ground was still reason to celebrate. As bad as things were, I decided the place where I had landed in my life just was not worth dying for. I could choose to begin again or fold. Each of us is faced with this same choice on a daily basis in many ways and on a multitude of levels.

Disappointment in some form is an integral part of life and in order to experience success we all must face setbacks or disappointments. Allowing ourselves to become paralyzed and contemptuous, however, can bring about more of the same feelings, behaviors, and responses from the world around us, thereby exacerbating an already glum situation. We’re crushed, we feel defeated, and we wonder if life is even worth getting out of bed for in the morning. From an observer’s point of view, we can often clearly see when another becomes caught in the vicious cycle of self-imposed setback and downfall yet seeing that within our own lives requires the knowledge and trust that we are on a journey of self-evolvement.

Knowing that there is a polarity of setbacks and successes can give us the necessary confidence to maintain our trust in ourselves and focus forward on our goals. The gift is in the release and detachment that trust requires, both of ourselves and of those around us. Perhaps the most pivotal message sometimes is not about us at all. Sometimes the lesson is about the others whom we are involved with, people we have been selected to teach.

Growth is change and change can sometimes be quite painful until we move into the new state of awareness that growth always brings with it. When adversities appear in our lives we can embrace the gift of Life and of the new awareness the adversity has within it or we can choose to ruminate to the point of becoming heartbroken and powerless in our lives—a place of arrested development and sometimes death. And why choose a permanent solution such as death for a temporary situation in your life? All situations are indeed temporary; no matter how good or bad, the situation will always end.

Life is an upward spiral of learning, experiences, growth and awareness. We can choose chaos or we can choose peace. Likewise, we can also choose to embrace the inherent lessons along the way.