5 Ways to Get Over Heartbreak

Getting over severe heartbreak has been likened by some psychologists to overcoming serious chemical addictions like smoking or drinking. In fact, research shows that love has a hold not only on our heartstrings, but in the very pleasure centers of our brains as well. Bottom line is that love has been document to have not only an emotional basis but also a very real neurological basis.

And, as any down-on-their-luck lover will tell you, heartbreak really hurts .. . bad! The gut-wrenching pain that comes from trying to get over a failed relationship can be overwhelming. When going through the emotions of a break-up, every part of your life can get thrown out of whack: our heads, our hearts, our social lives - even our physical and financial situations can be affected. What a mess!

If you are currently stricken with the pain and grief of heartbreak, here are 5 ways to get over heartbreak:

Way #1: Do something unexpectedly wonderful for yourself: Facing a tough breakup can put one in a state of self-absorption. The walls can feel like they are closing in, and suddenly what once seemed a future so bright and full of possibilities becomes one that seems dark and oppressive. Fear not: you can break out of this self-imposed emotional prison. What you need is to shift your focus away from your problems by doing something for yourself that will delight and surprise even you. Take a trip; enroll in a dance class; go out to dinner at a restaurant you have always wanted to try. Is budget a concern? Try spending a full day in any free-of-admission place that gives you a warm feeling and a sense of feeling centered (for me, that would be a large bookstore with the smell of coffee and books wafting about; where is it for you?).

Way #2: Envision your life as going even better than you had planned: Everything in life – including those things we think are good or bad – have their pros and cons, including the relationship you are trying to get over. Right now, you may be looking around and you can’t imagine things ever being good again. But try asking yourself: what if – just what if – this change is actually going to benefit you in some way? What way might that be? What good could possibly come out of this? Come on, you know you can think of more than a few good reasons to be single again. For 5 minutes each day, try focusing on those possibilities, and imagine yourself reaping their benefits.

Way #3: Flirt with someone new: Okay, the last thing you probably want to do right now is to think about another person in a romantic way. This is all the more reason to have the guts to do a bit of innocent flirting. Try it at the post office, the grocery store, the gym. Say hello someone attractive while looking into their eyes smilingly - and hold your gaze for an extra second or two longer than feels comfortable. A bit of flirting, even if it never leads anywhere, can be a great way get out of your funk and into the groove.

Way #4: Handsome/pretty yourself up a bit: Nothing will get you out of a depressed, heartbroken state than will starting a new exercise regimen, getting on a diet, and tuning up your wardrobe, hair or makeup. The reason why those among the recently-heartbroken “walking dead” avoid these steps is because, well, it takes a bit of effort. The last thing someone who is feeling down about a broken heart wants to do is to go out a jog 3 miles or stat a daily Pilates morning routine. You probably just feel like staying on the couch or in bed and wallowing in the muck of your emotional state. But, paradoxically, the more you do anything to improve your sex appeal, the quicker you will pull yourself out of the emotional hole in which you find yourself.

Way #5: Consider making up with your ex: There is one other option: you can learn how to effectively rekindle your past relationship. Of course, going back today and saying, “I love you and miss you – please take me back, oh please! I’m dying here!” (or something to that effect) will just get you a figurative door slammed in your face. You need serious expert help to effectively make up with that past lover. If you are going to go this route, seek advice from the experts in order increase your chances of success one-hundred-fold or more over trying to go it alone.

When heartbreak strikes, it is time to take action. Sitting around and wallowing may feel good for a Sunday afternoon or two, but you can’t go on like this! You need to pick yourself up and do what it takes to get back into a lifestyle that works for you. Your heart and head will thank you for it.