My Wife Won't Make Love to Me - 3 Steps to Getting Together By Marie-Claire Smith At Isnare.com Ezine Articles

Have you recently experienced a lull in your marital sex life? Are you saying to yourself, "My wife won't make love to me?" Your first inclination may be to address the issue with her immediately, and this is a common feeling that everyone in your situation experiences.

You may find yourself falling into an emotionally depressed place, and you may find yourself wondering what to do. You may immediately feel like confronting your wife and begging her to open up to you. But is this really going to make things better? Rather than make things better, what it is probably going to do is make your situation much worse - making her feel even more distant from you than ever.

What you should actually do at this point is the opposite of what you are feeling. Do you feel like confronting your wife directly? Don't! Do you feel like getting depressed? Don't! Do you feel like you just want to give up on the marriage and find sexual satisfaction outside your marriage? Don't! Instead, follow these three basic steps and you will have the answer that you need to the age old concern, "My wife won't make love to me."

1 - Fully Acknowledge Your Current Predicament to Yourself

First and foremost, you need to accept the current situation for what it is, within your own heart. Continue to have a positive attitude toward your wife, and allow the reality of your situation to sink in a bit on a conscious level. When you do this, it will eliminate a large amount of the tension and stress that is being experienced by both you and your wife due to your predicament. Taking this stance clears the air, and it allows you some time to coolly consider your options. If your wife realizes that she still loves you, she will be more inclined to being more open to resuming the intimacy you used to share.

2 - Do Not Overwhelm Her with Requests for Lovemaking

Do not make an overt effort at this point in terms of getting your wife to see it your way with your intimacy issues. You should stop communicating with her on this so that you can allow yourself some "thinking time." This may seem counterintuitive, but by no longer pestering her on this issue you are signaling to her that you are mature enough to find the right solution.
This will allow her to think about the sexual side of your relationship, as well, so that she can get in touch with how she feels about its value. It will also allow her to have some time to miss that part of your relationship again (remember, your wife has needs, too). When you can separate yourself from your angst about your situation and can calm your nerves, that may be the first step toward healing the underlying issues keeping the two of you out of bed together.

3 - Plan Your Fantasy Sexual Reunion with Her

Once you have completed the two steps mentioned above, it is time to plan your ideal romantic reunion with your wife. Work out in your mind a reunion fantasy - where you will meet, what you will wear, and what you should say and do on your special night. This will allow you to get a better idea of what you really want our of your newly-rekindled relationship (once it happens). But remember, at this point, keep all of this planning in the fantasy world of your mind until you are ready to take the next step and share your plan with your wife.

Now that you have taken these important steps, it is time to put your plan into action. You will need to start breaking the ice with your wife about your intimacy issues so that you are both on the same page. When the timing is right, you need to appropriately share your romantic plan (see Step 3) with her to gauge her reaction.

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