Trials of Toilet Training My Two Year Old

I knew that there would be a lot of diapers to change when I had my first baby. I had never changed a diaper before I changed one on my own little baby. It was kind of gross but after the tenth diaper it really didn’t bother me and I resolved myself that this was what I was going to be doing several times a day, every day, for a couple years.

As my son passed his second birthday, I started to feel like I needed to try to train him to use the toilet. I read stories on the internet of advanced babies that were toilet trained by their first birthday and I was feeling like a bad mom. I went shopping and came home with a lovely white plastic training toilet. It had a lid that opened up to reveal a cushy white seat and underneath that was a red bowl that you could remove to dump out once something was deposited there.

I’ve heard and read that you sit your little guy down on his trainer toilet about a half hour after each meal and hope that something will happen. Offer encouragement and praise and hope for the best. Well, for me, this turned into a frustrating, long waiting time. I admit that one day I lost my patience and tried to reason with a 2 year old. I went on and on about how you don’t poop in your diaper or pants anymore because you’re a big boy.

That was a mistake on my part. My strong willed son then silently decided “I’m not pooping ever again.” He would go 3 or 4 days without a bowel movement. I was beside myself with worry. I could not believe that my son could just not poop. He didn’t look or act uncomfortable. He just decided that to please me, he would not be “bad” and poop in his diaper. He wasn’t willing or ready to use that little trainer toilet so in his head the only other alternative was to just not go poop. He would go pee as usual and every time I checked his diaper I would be hoping for that sign of brown.

The crazy thing was that my daily happiness was now tied to whether my child pooped or not. I would fret all day long and wish and pray for that elusive poop. I eliminated any possible foods that might cause constipation such as bread, crackers, pizza, chocolate, anything that seemed like it would be dry or was processed food. I pushed fruit, fruit juices, pasta, anything that seemed moist and friendly.

I even took my son to see the doctor. His doctor reassured me that when my son was ready to use the little toilet and be toilet trained that it will all happen naturally. He told me not to get myself all worked up about it and not to make a big deal about changing diapers in front of my son.

I now had a game plan. I would change my son’s diaper while talking about something else in an animated, fun voice to distract him. I would not comment about if there was a poop or not. I would not say anything at all about this. I would act like it didn’t matter at all and it was not something I was concerned about.

After doing this for two weeks, my son got his system back on track. He went back to his usually daily bowel movements and I was so relieved. Now that he’s two and a half, the only thing I do differently is that he doesn’t wear heavy “baby diapers”. He wears pull-up training pants which are closer to underwear and much thinner than diapers. I’m now letting nature take its course and not putting on any pressure or adding any stress to what is just a regular bodily function. I certainly don’t want to repeat my earlier mistake of incorrectly conveying the message that “poop is bad.” Everything will happen in due time and I’m at peace with that.

This has been my experience. Obviously, if you're concerned about something like this with your own child, see his or her doctor. I just wanted to tell my story since it was a big deal to me at the time and I really worried a lot over this issue and it was upsetting.