Advice to Heal a Broken Heart: 5 Tips

Going through the pain of a breakup is going to be an emotional challenge, no matter how you look at it. Healing a broken heart is never easy. Many people with broken hearts believe that they will be able to get over it quickly by just focusing on the future and trying to forget the past.

What they find, however, is that carrying a torch for someone after a breakup greatly resembles the grieving process. Psychologists tell us that grieving for a loved one who has died tends to follow a process of distinct stages. Not surprisingly, the process of mending a broken heart follows similar stages, ranging from denial to acceptance. It is only by going through this process that you can be clear-headed enough to determine what the next steps in your love life should be.

Here is my advice to heal a broken heart:

1. Do what you can to survive in the short term:

Dealing with a breakup can feel like it is tearing you apart inside. The initial shock and grief that accompany serious breakups is not something to get over quickly – it is actually something you need to survive. For the time being, remember that your current main goal should just be to do whatever you can to survive through this tough time intact. That way, you will be well-positioned for whatever comes next.

2. Don’t expect others to understand:

The feelings of despair that can accompany a breakup are compounded by the fact that most of the people around you are not going through the same thing right as you are right now. So, the levels of sympathy you may expect from mere acquaintances and co-workers are likely not going to be as high as you might like. Of course, this doesn’t mean that people don’t care about you. It just means that they really can’t relate to the depth of pain and frustration you are going through right now.

3. Remember that breakup pain is a universal human experience:

Even though you likely feel very-much alone in your pain right now, of course you are not. Actually, you are going through something that millions of people are going through right now around the world – and many more than that throughout history. Witness the countless “broken heart” and “lost love” songs that you can hear on the radio on any given day. Or, check the stock in the drama or romantic comedy sections of your local video store and realize just how many films have been made about this very pain. So, take heart in the fact that, while what you are experiencing feels intensely personal and lonely right now, on a larger level you are going through what countless others have (and are) also going through.

4. Spend extra time with friends and family:

In addition to giving yourself the time you need to reconnect with your own sense of self, another important step on the road to healing your broken heart is to do yourself a favor and spend some time with friends and family. They will realize that you are going through something serious and will try to help. It is important to let them in a little bit into your otherwise-private life and allow their love and affection for you to help heal your broken heart. The people that you care about will be very helpful when it comes to dealing with break up pain, if you let them.

5. Recognize that there are healthy ways to get over a breakup:

There is some good news amidst all of this pain and suffering you are going through: there is a “right” or healthy way to face a broken heart that will help you resolve things more quickly. It involves two parts: a. making your peace with the pain; b. deciding if it makes sense to try to get back together with your ex.

So, follow this advice to heal a broken heart. First, comes to terms with the fact that you will survive this thing. Next, make sure you keep in mind that, regardless of how it may seem, you are actually not all alone in this experience: others have gone through this before, and friends and family can lend loving support. Finally, make your peace with the pain. Once you do, you will find that it will become much less acute. Only then will you be in a much better position to determine whether you need to get over your ex or try to get your ex back into your life.