Should You Rebuild Your Broken Relationship?

Where do you start when someone you’ve loved pulls away? How do you cope with the feeling of being rejected after you’ve poured your heart and soul into a relationship that’s now coming apart at the seams? How do you begin to choke down the pain and hurt that eats away at you from the very bottom of your soul and causes you to become nauseous whenever you’re rebuffed after giving so much for so long?

Dealing with a broken relationship is very much like dealing with the death of a loved one. Sometimes it’s worse, because at least in death you don’t have to deal with the agony of knowing they’re trying to be with someone else or trying to “get some space”.

Death simply took them away. They didn’t reject you. Rejection is death without dying.

So, the question becomes: “Should you rebuild your broken relationship”? Well, first of all you have to determine if the relationship was actually right to begin with. And for this you should try to get an honest, unbiased third party viewpoint. Maybe find a close friend that’s open and whose opinion you value and then go have a cup of coffee somewhere and honestly discuss what took place. Now, explicit details aren’t necessary, but, you should do your best to relate the facts as undistorted as possible. Try to be as objective as you can realizing that your point of view is always going to be somewhat biased. But, brutal, open honesty is what your looking for.

The idea is to be able to determine if the relationship has a high enough value to even attempt to rebuild it. Many times we’re so close to the other person that we can’t see or don’t want to see that we’re actually propping up an unhealthy situation. One that could even border on sick or dangerous and it’s important that a good and proper determination be made.

On a positive note, rebuilding the union between two people can have profound and enduring effects. Many time there is a greater respect between the two individuals due to compromises that can be made. Making these compromises shows each other that you’re willing to bend a bit and yet maintain some integrity in the duo.

If you find that maybe some honest mistakes have been made and that there really are some things that, if worked on, could turn the relationship around for the better than the best place to start is to find some resources, such as a good book or dvd collection, that deals with mending relationships that just need rebuilding and use them as a guide. A rebuilt relationship can be a wonderful and refreshing thing for both parties. And there ARE ways to improve your chances of mending things and then making up.

And while there isn’t rocket science involved in the art of making up a little research can go a long way. You don’t want to come across as stalking or smothering. The best approach is to make it look like it was their idea all along.