Making Up With Your Ex

Many people who have gone through a breakup feel that what they need to do to make up with their ex is just to work hard enough at convincing them that they should be together.

They phone, and they text, and they talk to their ex’s family and friends. They beg, and they apologize, and they make all kinds of promises. And they can’t understand when that seems to push their ex even farther away.

All of these convincing methods can be seen by your ex as a way of trying to manipulate or control them. Nobody likes to feel manipulated. And certainly nobody wants to feel they are being manipulated back into a relationship.

It may go against all of your instincts but when your ex wants to be away from you, you have to let them go. You have to give them the freedom to go if you ever want them to come back. You have probably heard the saying, “If you love something then set it free. If it comes back to you it is yours. If it doesn’t come back, then it never was yours”.

Give your ex the freedom to make their own choice. If they are only with you because they feel they have to be then that is not very fulfilling is it? And you deserve to be with someone who really wants to be with you.

Giving them freedom of choice means that you agree with the breakup. You don’t make them feel guilty. You are calm about the whole thing (or at the very least give the appearance of being calm about the whole thing). When you are around them you act confident, not desperate.

In fact, this little break from each other may be a good thing. You may come to realize what you really appreciated about each other and what you miss. Maybe you realize that you have not made the relationship a priority in the past but you decide that this is something worth doing in the future.

So, once your ex has some space, and feels free to choose, then you want them to choose you, right? It can be a really difficult thing to balance. You love them but you give them space. You want to be with them but you have to wait until they decide they want to be with you.

You keep yourself looking good and feeling good so that they will feel that attraction to you once again. Even though the breakup may be really hard on you, you can’t let yourself go – not physically or emotionally.

Even though this person is a really important part of your life, they are not your life. Fill your time with lots of great activities that build you up, and that you enjoy. Don’t give the impression that your happiness depends on them. That is too heavy a burden to put on anyone. And again, that may be seen as another form of manipulation.

People only want what they don’t have. So, you are available but you aren’t desperate. You have a full and satisfying life outside of your relationship with them. Remember, it is your confidence that will attract them back. If you are looking for more ideas of this type please check out an ebook called “The Magic of Making Up” which you can find at http://relationshiphelp4u.com